328 - Time and Money

Another day left to my own devices and Ive managed to spend 250$. Thats the bad news. The good news is that Ive brought home my new treadmill and set it up all in the same day and have managed to log in roughly 3 hours on it. Two of those hours in one day. It feels good to get back on a treadmill.

I did manage to do the .3 of the 2.3 hours dressed in only a hairclip. It was a long day of running around and then lugging this heavy piece of machinery into my place and then figuring out how to get it all set up and going. So by the time I was ready for bed. I thought Id try it out and see how she goes. She doesn't mind me being naked. I must get some blinds though as its right along the living room windows.

I fed my friend some Chinese food that we picked up on the way back from picking up some tools that we would need. I have tools just not an adjustable wrench. My tools consist of a small hammer and a screwdriver thingy that have the bits inside the handle. Oh and some screws in a little container. Does a roll of velcro count as a tool? If so I have that too.

Not working sure is nice. Ive got the week off and Im on a roll. Ive been sleeping an extra hour in the morning and I'm sleeping late... which gets later and later. That has to change. My hours for training is earlier than I'm used to.

I plan on getting ahead by not sleeping so late and getting up early enough to make sure I get to work on time and in control.

Oh and no more shopping needlessly for me. In a matter of 2 days Ive spend over 800$.
Where has my good sense gone??

I saw D yesterday for lunch and we went out to a restaurant. We will be seeing each other this afternoon for some much needed private time. I'm getting used to the idea that he isn't feeling the same way I am. It would be nice it he were but if it isn't so then it just isn't so. Maybe in another life. Or maybe its all in the timing.

I don't mind that I feel more than he does. Ive been honest with him the whole way through and I have nothing to be ashamed of. Feeling and wanting to be close to someone isn't a bad thing. Its nice. In a way its a gift. Loving someone. Theres no conditions. Its just there. They don't have to do anything with it. They just need to be open to it.

The hard part about having feelings for someone is the responsibility that comes with accepting it. Its a gift, a present. Its fragile and delicate. So in a way. I'm the one that has it easy. What he does with it is his decision. Ill respect and have since we've met. We both weren't looking for what we have as we have it now. But its here and we've done well with it so far.

So if I put all that aside, where do I stand? I'm still a single girl whose enjoying life and the people, places and things in it. Connecting with other men isn't something I don't want. If it happens it happens. But Im not out there actively looking for it. These things just happen.

Ill be buried with training for a while so I dont see a huge romance or sexual awakening happening in that time but no one ever really knows do they? Ill be making good use and will be putting the treadmill to good use.

Its time to take care of my body. Ive taken care of other things... or things have worked themselves out and I no longer feel the need to throw myself at him :)

I had some time thinking while I splurged on a small frozen yogurt at the mall. My social life is a bit slow and I'm undecided about how I feel about that. One one side I miss the hectic schedule that I sometimes have trying to fit time in a day to see people, do things and make sure that I'm on top of everything. I miss that.

On the other hand I like not having to juggle it all at the same time. Its nice to have time to not be planning all the time. Its nice to just be able to jump on the treadmill and go. My mind will wander while my legs move.

I know its just a lull, it will get hectic again at some point. I just hope that it will hold off until I'm finished with training. Otherwise I'm afraid it will affect how I do during training. Time to prioritize accordingly.