329 - male and female minds

I was talking to a friend of mine last night and we talked about a lot of things. I was in one of those moods where my mind was all over the place and I kept it together as much as I could.

We talked about sex and we shared when we had sex last. His was last weekend, mine was earlier that afternoon. Something in me sparked and I asked him not to freak out, I told him I was a bit jealous that he had sex with someone else.

His reply was 'good'. Me being confused with his answer made me reply with 'good?!!?' Thats not what I was expecting him to say. I wasnt looking for any kind of answer but that just threw me off. He said that he got jealous too when he heard I had sex recently.

We both agreed that that was weird but glad that it wasn't just one person feeling that way.

We talked about cycles and since I brought up a few new changes and new developments in my life he mentioned that I might be on a new cycle. He calls it the 7 year cycle. Me turning 28 is the start of a new cycle.

I thought about that for a moment and agreed with him. Thinking about the recent changes and the new feelings I have regarding men, life and how there are things that I feel have been altered in the recent past.

I told him I was a little worried about what happens to women sexually when they reach a certain age. Where they seem to be more sexual. He agreed with me about being worried as hes aware of my sexual history. The thing is hes not 100 % aware of the history and he only knows about 60% of it.

Timing plays a big part in my worry as Im just starting the new job and I just want to have that kind of interruption.. more like distraction. No matter how sweet the distraction makes me feel.

We talked about the frequency of the sex that happens in our lives and I said I wasnt getting nearly enough of it and there are a few reasons for it. Some Im aware of others Im not so sure of. We got into detail about what I missed about it. Certain things that I need a partner for :)

Somehow it came up that I thought of sex like a man. We compared how often we thought of sex and were pretty much even and that was surprising to him as he thinks he thinks of it way too much.

We shared how seeing anyone throughout our day lets us imagine how they might smell, sound, taste and feel. How their hands might feel on our bodies and which positions they prefer and all that good stuff. He says it keeps him sane. Me? To be determined.

He said at the end, that it doesn't matter how I approach sex Ill always be a woman and theres something there that will make me 'feel'. I smiled, if a little sadly and told him that ' I knew that'.

He also said that the sex that Ill be having for the next 7 years will be nothing like Ive had before. He says this through experience. I told him that would be great and I hoped it would happen that way, as Ive had really great experiences so far. This is a wait and see situation.

I am a little discouraged today at my level of fitness. I am getting ahead of myself as I want to be the woman that my mind has. It wont be something that happens right away which is unfortunate. But such is how things work when its something good. It takes time and effort.

BS from Calgary will be in town for a couple of days and Ill be spending some time with him while he is in town. Its been a while since Ive last seen him so it should be a good time. Im still feeling a bit maudlin so I hope that hes not looking for the upbeat and uber energetic Darling that hes used to. Most likely he is and I will have to summon some energy somehow.

So today so far, Ive had a facial, manicure, pedicure and Ive done my morning hour on the treadmill. Ill be working out with Carmen Electra later on and we'll do our thing. Ill perfect that little dance of hers soon.

Topping the night of with dinner and drinks with BS. I'm undecided if Ill be spending the night with him. Ill pack an overnight bag just in case.

I have no plans with D and there weren't any made. He called and said Happy Valentines Day this morning which was nice. I think hes noticing that I'm pulling away a little bit. Theres a hesitation and an 'are you sure' tone in his voice when were on the phone and nearing the end of the call and I'm not all girly with him.

He called again a little later telling me about his night and how he was thinking of calling in sick today to spend the day with me. Thats something I would have enjoyed but now I dont know why I wasnt all excited about it.

I guess its not as much fun if I'm the only one putting out the effort into something. Its a lesson for me to learn. Limits. When to realize that enough is enough and how much I 'can be' with someone isn't always how much I will be with that someone.

Happy Valentines Day... Love the One you're with.