133 - captive
It calls to you. You need to know. You want to know. Has anything new happened. Where have they gone? What did they do last night. Anything interesting? Maybe it wont be anything nice. BUT it could be something great. Something neat and sweet. Funny, scary, thoughtful or something on the opposite end. Whatever the case may be. I want to know.
What is it that makes me come back. What is it that calls to me. I dont know this person not personally, physically or emotionally. I dont know them and yet I want to be with them? I want to spend time with them and be more like them. I want to know them. Be their friend and talk to them. They seem so fascinating. I want to be in close proximity so that some of the what? the excitement? The characteristics, the habits, the ideas, the life can rub off on me??
Their life seems so. Much. More. What is it? Is it their writing, the style of writing? The way they share their thoughts. What they share? How they share? I dont know what it is that keeps me coming back. I just know I do, want to come back. I want to know what I might have missed. If I have missed anything.
A different place, a different life. A different perspective. So unlike my own. Is that it? Is it because theres such a drastic difference in the life we lead? Do I want what they have? Yes. I want to live that life. It seems so fascinating. If I cant live that life. Then I want to be close to it. I want to know everything there is to know about them.
Its intense. Its almost a painful process. I fell in love. Can I say that? Or did I fall captive? Im not sure it was love. I loved what I was reading, what it made me feel and think of. The possibilities...
Are you ever captive?
There was such a connection. A one sided connection. I know I will never live the life that they shared with me. I know that I might never hear, see or do anything with that person. Its just something that would have been nice. Its been exciting to be able to glimpse someone life through what they share with me, you, us.
Words sooth me in a way that I cant explain
What is it that makes me come back. What is it that calls to me. I dont know this person not personally, physically or emotionally. I dont know them and yet I want to be with them? I want to spend time with them and be more like them. I want to know them. Be their friend and talk to them. They seem so fascinating. I want to be in close proximity so that some of the what? the excitement? The characteristics, the habits, the ideas, the life can rub off on me??
Their life seems so. Much. More. What is it? Is it their writing, the style of writing? The way they share their thoughts. What they share? How they share? I dont know what it is that keeps me coming back. I just know I do, want to come back. I want to know what I might have missed. If I have missed anything.
A different place, a different life. A different perspective. So unlike my own. Is that it? Is it because theres such a drastic difference in the life we lead? Do I want what they have? Yes. I want to live that life. It seems so fascinating. If I cant live that life. Then I want to be close to it. I want to know everything there is to know about them.
Its intense. Its almost a painful process. I fell in love. Can I say that? Or did I fall captive? Im not sure it was love. I loved what I was reading, what it made me feel and think of. The possibilities...
Are you ever captive?
There was such a connection. A one sided connection. I know I will never live the life that they shared with me. I know that I might never hear, see or do anything with that person. Its just something that would have been nice. Its been exciting to be able to glimpse someone life through what they share with me, you, us.
Words sooth me in a way that I cant explain
Labels: Me
posted by darling @ 3:38 PM
3 Comments:
At January 05, 2007 8:39 AM,
Tony said…
I feel for you. This sort of thing happens to me all the time. I'll meet a new barrista and share a little flirtation, attend a small concert and really understand the singer/songwriter, or even follow a blogger, eating up her archives and feeling as though I'm getting to know her, that we would really connect. It's a cruel trick that our minds play by daydreaming and fantasising, even if our minds are on the right track.
At January 06, 2007 11:30 PM,
George said…
Darling ... we are often called by something that we don't know what it is ... something that we see in another that we like or would like to try, something that beckons to a sense of daring or perversity ... whay are some people always attracted to the bud guy or girl?
Makes life interesting.
At January 07, 2007 10:52 AM,
darling said…
Hello Anthony,
Ahhh someone that relates :) Phew! It is a cruel trick. But Im not sure if Im willing to give it up. Its a high of sorts. Sadistic? I think yes.
Ive done that as well connected with an artist, song and writers.
Hi George,
LOL I havent seen a bid boy or girl in a while!
There is a sense of invisible, silent calling sometimes.
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