315 - And the winner is....

I know you're all wondering if they called me this morning. I know you all want to know that Ill be sashaying around in my string bikini. I know that you are wondering if ill have my hair blowing in the wind, across my face, as I walk ankle deep in the ocean. Laying on the sand, soaking in the sun with Umberto replenishing fruity drinks topped with cherries and little umbrellas.

After all the hoping
After Ive prematurely asked someone
After I deluded myself
After thinking of the perfect travel companion.

They didn't call me. Instead they called this girl named Shannon. Cheryl. Shhh something. I instantly didn't like her or her fiancee whom she was planning on bringing. Guess where they will be going for their honeymoon? That's right Cayo Santa Maria, Cuba.

:) As bummed as I am about it, it was a long shot. So I'm not so bummed after all. It was neat to be entered in the first place. Now for the wishful thinking part and the fun part of this. Had they called me. I was thinking of who the best person to accompany would be.

Now I do have requirements that must be met for optimal enjoyment of the experience. Now if I shared them with everyone (the requirements that is) some would make sense others wont. Some would seem selfish and others would seem just out of place.

Its always a little, OK very difficult and a little insane to make lists like this when it involves well being picky.

I thought about it for a little bit and thought that it might have been a mistake to ask D to come with me. I mean we've never actually spent a night together here at my place or his. Come to think about it Ive never been inside his place. Don't start on how that means something big. I know that already.

If hes never stayed overnight and we've never seen each other the morning after then I don't know. I don't know how I can just take someone along with me for a week to spend somewhere where there would be no home to go to. That place is it. I didn't even think of what kind of awkward that would bring. What kind of shyness and hesitation that might bring.

So I'm thinking it just might be a series/string of hooking up and not anything else other than that. It can be something other than that but the rest is all mental. So bit by bit I'm either trying to convince myself that there's nothing there on his side which will help me work out that there's nothing there to look forward to in the future except what is happening now, though (I hope) the friendship will always be there.

I also thought about bringing my sister whom I'm sure would have been a great person to bring. As its always fun when were together. I thought of those nights where I might want to have the place to myself because I just met this guy who I want to play with. I wouldn't feel comfortable. And that's just not something you want to feel when you're off on vacation.

Finding the perfect companion is posing a little more challenging. But I'm sure when the time is right. It will happen.