356 - fairy tale
I've mentioned this before. The Fairy Tale. Finding someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, being happy and growing, loving and learning together.
Talking with D. Makes me sad thinking about it because it doesn't seem like people want that. Even though they get married. Make that commitment to each other. There comes a time when you find out that while they love each other. One will find themselves in a position where they find someone else to share a part of themselves. Whether mentally or sexually.
I say mentally because sometimes we talk to people about something that we should be talking to our partners about. I dont know. I mean Im not in a relationship so this could all be in my head. Probably.
But it makes me think that if I ever find that person that I want to spend the rest of my life with. Will that person want the same thing I do? Will he be faithful to me and not levae me for a younger better looking woman. Or will the temptation of something no strings attached me so great that he goes for it.
After all. If I don't ever find out will it hurt me? Would I want to know. Its different thinking about that question as a single girl. As I know my answer would be different compared to if I was in a relationship.
I know that... in some cases... ignorance is bliss.
Then I think is that just the chickens way of thinking? Of not dealing of sweeping things under the rug. Im not sure. Maybe.
If I turn it around would I want to tell someone I was with that I had a fling with someone else. Thats a while other post that Im not ready to deal with.
The point of the post? Im not encouraged. There are so many people who are in relationships that somehow manage to have secrets. Another man or another woman. A weekend tournament becomes home for hook ups and one nighters.
If this is what becomes of a relationship. Why do I want that? Why go into one knowing that its possible that this might become a reality. That I might have to deal with the pain and rejection and all that comes with it.
The other part of me, from a distant place inside me and in a faint voice barely heard answers. Why? Because the other possibilities are also available for you.
The verdict? Im not hopeful at the moment. This makes me feel like I will be single for a long long time. Not that theres anything wrong with it. I enjoy it and make it work for me.
The reason for this topic?
D and I had a conversation and it didnt bode well for the image I had of 'us' in the future. The image changed to us in a relationship and him having someone on the side.
Maybe what I cant deal with is that in that same image theres a qusstion mark above me showing the uncertainty of whether I would have someone else on the side as well.
That was the most disturbing part.
The reassuring part is that I dont want anyone else.
Talking with D. Makes me sad thinking about it because it doesn't seem like people want that. Even though they get married. Make that commitment to each other. There comes a time when you find out that while they love each other. One will find themselves in a position where they find someone else to share a part of themselves. Whether mentally or sexually.
I say mentally because sometimes we talk to people about something that we should be talking to our partners about. I dont know. I mean Im not in a relationship so this could all be in my head. Probably.
But it makes me think that if I ever find that person that I want to spend the rest of my life with. Will that person want the same thing I do? Will he be faithful to me and not levae me for a younger better looking woman. Or will the temptation of something no strings attached me so great that he goes for it.
After all. If I don't ever find out will it hurt me? Would I want to know. Its different thinking about that question as a single girl. As I know my answer would be different compared to if I was in a relationship.
I know that... in some cases... ignorance is bliss.
Then I think is that just the chickens way of thinking? Of not dealing of sweeping things under the rug. Im not sure. Maybe.
If I turn it around would I want to tell someone I was with that I had a fling with someone else. Thats a while other post that Im not ready to deal with.
The point of the post? Im not encouraged. There are so many people who are in relationships that somehow manage to have secrets. Another man or another woman. A weekend tournament becomes home for hook ups and one nighters.
If this is what becomes of a relationship. Why do I want that? Why go into one knowing that its possible that this might become a reality. That I might have to deal with the pain and rejection and all that comes with it.
The other part of me, from a distant place inside me and in a faint voice barely heard answers. Why? Because the other possibilities are also available for you.
The verdict? Im not hopeful at the moment. This makes me feel like I will be single for a long long time. Not that theres anything wrong with it. I enjoy it and make it work for me.
The reason for this topic?
D and I had a conversation and it didnt bode well for the image I had of 'us' in the future. The image changed to us in a relationship and him having someone on the side.
Maybe what I cant deal with is that in that same image theres a qusstion mark above me showing the uncertainty of whether I would have someone else on the side as well.
That was the most disturbing part.
The reassuring part is that I dont want anyone else.
posted by darling @ 7:41 PM
2 Comments:
At July 29, 2008 7:56 PM,
Unknown said…
Hi Darling...it's true, you could get hurt sometime in the future by a man that you might choose to spend your life with. But I'm sure there are men out there who would remain faithful to you. It can and does happen, despite all the cheating that goes on.
At July 29, 2008 10:50 PM,
Brewster said…
Hi Darling, I agree with the rocketman. There are plenty of guys out there that can be faithful. Although, I had the image of the fairytale and I think that is what ruined it for me in my first marriage, that and the fact she cheated on me. We have such high expectations and then boom, you have lost it all. The key word is FAITH!!! You have to have it in one another. Good Luck!!! I hope you find what you are looking for.
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