351 - believe
I often wonder why it is I don't believe people when they say certain things. Mostly things that are complimentary to me. Sometimes its unexpected. Sometimes its appreciated. But most of the time I find myself not believing.
Why is this? I have no clue. I wonder if everyone no matter how attractive look at themselves in the mirror. Do you ever find yourself walking down a busy street and someone catches your eye? Someone striking? Exotic? Beautiful? I'm sure you have. I have. Do you find you want to keep looking? So you keep them locked in your sight until they are out of sight or until your attention is needed elsewhere?
Then there are times when your eye is caught by the opposite. Someone who you wouldn't find attractive, someone that wouldn't ordinarily be your 'type'. Your gaze shifts quickly hopefully towards someone or something more visually pleasing.
I wonder why it is I don't find myself attractive sometimes. I don't see what they see. All I see is... me with all its imperfections. I wonder, 'how can you say things like that when there are so many other more attractive people all around us' Then I think 'is this one of those times?'
One of those times where its nicer and kinder to say something nice instead of not saying anything at all. Though on the flip side if someone didn't say anything at all I would also worry. So there is no solution to this... I think.
When someone Ive just met tells me I'm beautiful I sometimes want to ask them to go into more detail. Not to be vain and listen to things like that but to understand what it is that he thinks is beautiful. Is it this one thing that I do or is it a combination of things. Is it different for everyone or is it the same for everyone. Im not sure but Id like to find out.
I mainly want to know so I can see and understand. In my self depreciating way. I want to think I'm beautiful too.
Why is this? I have no clue. I wonder if everyone no matter how attractive look at themselves in the mirror. Do you ever find yourself walking down a busy street and someone catches your eye? Someone striking? Exotic? Beautiful? I'm sure you have. I have. Do you find you want to keep looking? So you keep them locked in your sight until they are out of sight or until your attention is needed elsewhere?
Then there are times when your eye is caught by the opposite. Someone who you wouldn't find attractive, someone that wouldn't ordinarily be your 'type'. Your gaze shifts quickly hopefully towards someone or something more visually pleasing.
I wonder why it is I don't find myself attractive sometimes. I don't see what they see. All I see is... me with all its imperfections. I wonder, 'how can you say things like that when there are so many other more attractive people all around us' Then I think 'is this one of those times?'
One of those times where its nicer and kinder to say something nice instead of not saying anything at all. Though on the flip side if someone didn't say anything at all I would also worry. So there is no solution to this... I think.
When someone Ive just met tells me I'm beautiful I sometimes want to ask them to go into more detail. Not to be vain and listen to things like that but to understand what it is that he thinks is beautiful. Is it this one thing that I do or is it a combination of things. Is it different for everyone or is it the same for everyone. Im not sure but Id like to find out.
I mainly want to know so I can see and understand. In my self depreciating way. I want to think I'm beautiful too.
posted by darling @ 2:41 PM
1 Comments:
At June 24, 2008 12:37 PM,
Unknown said…
Darling, if you a picture, we could solve this little dilemma! ;)
All but the truly vain are a little hard on themselves, so it's natural to wonder what someone sees in you.
Also, some compliments are self-serving ("flattery will get you nowhere"); I find in my case that, in the rare instances that I give a woman a compliment based on her looks, it's partly because I want her to view me favorably. Maybe you suspect that some of the compliments coming your way are not entirely of pure motive.
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