twenty nine - Jealousy
What is the point of being jealous? I have moments when I get jealous. I admit it. I think what I try to do with it is roll around in it, get my fill, laugh and poke fun at myself for feeling that way. Then I use that jealousy and try to find out why it is im jealous and figure out a way to use that and turn it into something productive for myself. Cz really it is all about me when it comes to jealousy. Its not about you, him or her. Its about me and my issues.
Say I see another woman who is gorgeous. (when im having bad day everyone looks better than I do lol) I wallow for a bit and then think ok why did I feel that way? cz im in a bad mood and why am I in a bad mood, (insert reason) What do I do to make me feel better (insert pie in the sky smart ass comment here) lol then really (insert proper and honest answer here) then I think Ok, well. Im not that bad (start process of building myself up) I may not look like that but I look like me and no ones ever pointed and laughed at me (in a while lol JK) I think, I dont want to be them. They might have a worse hand than Ive been dealt with. Ill stick with mine and just change what it is that bothers me. Like say my weight. Ok solution for that, work out and eat healthy. Overall benefits, weight loss, healthier system, and look better which will make me feel better.
The list goes on, basically thinking... if they can look like that? why cant I? If they can do that? why cant I? and there isnt any reason that I couldnt be and do anything :) The world is all right again my rose colored glasses are back, perched on my nose. Watch out world Ive arrived!
Then the green eyed monster vanishes. For some people, they arent able to make anything good come out of their jealousy, they dont want to accept it, understand it and do something productive with it. I think its simpler my way and a little more enlightning.
I know this part will seem a bit self absorbed. I wonder if people ever look at me and feel jealous for some reason or another? lol Oh well. Its like back in HS I wanted to know who had a crush on me. Why? just to know. Im too curious for my own good, I carry around burn cream *wink*
Say I see another woman who is gorgeous. (when im having bad day everyone looks better than I do lol) I wallow for a bit and then think ok why did I feel that way? cz im in a bad mood and why am I in a bad mood, (insert reason) What do I do to make me feel better (insert pie in the sky smart ass comment here) lol then really (insert proper and honest answer here) then I think Ok, well. Im not that bad (start process of building myself up) I may not look like that but I look like me and no ones ever pointed and laughed at me (in a while lol JK) I think, I dont want to be them. They might have a worse hand than Ive been dealt with. Ill stick with mine and just change what it is that bothers me. Like say my weight. Ok solution for that, work out and eat healthy. Overall benefits, weight loss, healthier system, and look better which will make me feel better.
The list goes on, basically thinking... if they can look like that? why cant I? If they can do that? why cant I? and there isnt any reason that I couldnt be and do anything :) The world is all right again my rose colored glasses are back, perched on my nose. Watch out world Ive arrived!
Then the green eyed monster vanishes. For some people, they arent able to make anything good come out of their jealousy, they dont want to accept it, understand it and do something productive with it. I think its simpler my way and a little more enlightning.
I know this part will seem a bit self absorbed. I wonder if people ever look at me and feel jealous for some reason or another? lol Oh well. Its like back in HS I wanted to know who had a crush on me. Why? just to know. Im too curious for my own good, I carry around burn cream *wink*
posted by darling @ 2:31 PM
4 Comments:
At June 21, 2006 10:30 AM,
afrobev said…
I don't think you sound self absorbed at all. You are right about being happy with the hand you've been dealt though. I suppose the key is being happy in your own skin and being happy with yourself. I reckon if you are happy from within that it sort of radiates to the outside and that's what makes you more attractive as a person.
At June 21, 2006 11:15 AM,
darling said…
I think its a never ending cycle. Theres always some room for improvements, whether its mental, physical or spiritual. When will I be satisfied?
At June 21, 2006 5:45 PM,
afrobev said…
I think it's part of being human unfortunately we probably never will be completely satisfied but I suppose you've got to strike a balance and try and prioritise with certain things. Maybe it's because you've got such a zest for life and a fire in your belly that makes you unsatisfied and possibly a bit impatient with certain things? I try every now and again to sit back, take stock, take a deep breath and take my time with things.
My new motto is 'live for the present'. There is no past and we can't do anything about that anyway. The future doesn't exist as there is no such thing. Present is all there is and that is all that matters. Try to live it and appreciate it. Sorry Im not preaching at all its just my new thing and it seems to be working.
At June 22, 2006 8:48 PM,
darling said…
Very well put,'zest for life and a fire in your belly' Nail on the head on that one.
Things will happen when they need to happen. You are right we all need 'to sit back, take stock, take a deep breath'
Living for the present is a great way to look at it. I think I am very excited about all the presents to come :)
I appreciate your comments. SMILE!
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