twenty three- new
Well this is a new one. Im like a pendulum. From one end to the other.
I met an older gentleman. He was looking for something and I was interested, intrigued and curious in being what he was looking for. What was he looking for? In essence and in truth a companion. (there are other words to describe what hes looking for but I thought companion was best suited) Something long term and on an ongoing basis. Why am I considering the offer? Why not? If it didnt satisfy me to induldge in... this, then there wouldnt be a point in me considering it. Its on going and long term which isnt a one night rendezvous. I like to have some form of continuity with the men in my life.
Im not sure if I should go into detail as to what weve discussed. However its not all under the midnight moon that the meetings will take place. Not all meetings will be of a physical nature. Though im sure the undertones will be present.
Its something that may never again come across my lap, so I think I will jump in and enjoy. I dont think it will be perfect and I know Ill be challenged in ways I might never have been. But I look forward to learning about myself and the lines, boundaries and grey areas around me. Im also curious by nature and this give me an in as to why people do the things they do, myself included. The things I do for research.
I hope I havent offended anyone in my search for possible knowledge, understanding and of course pleasure etc...
I am nervous and excited, which is a great feeling. Walking into an experience knowing that I am in control (to an extent) and that at times that control will be relinquished leaving me with a raw vulnerablility to someone (after my nerves have been appeased)... Tangent, sorry.
I learn something from every experience. Whether its a good or bad one. I look forward to the experiences that are in my near and present future.
I could go on and on in this post. Ill leave it as is. An introduction to a new chapter in my life. Will it actually become something? or was it all hot air? Im not sure. Im willing to find out and live out these experences. Who knows I might hate it or might just be the thing im looking for.
I met an older gentleman. He was looking for something and I was interested, intrigued and curious in being what he was looking for. What was he looking for? In essence and in truth a companion. (there are other words to describe what hes looking for but I thought companion was best suited) Something long term and on an ongoing basis. Why am I considering the offer? Why not? If it didnt satisfy me to induldge in... this, then there wouldnt be a point in me considering it. Its on going and long term which isnt a one night rendezvous. I like to have some form of continuity with the men in my life.
Im not sure if I should go into detail as to what weve discussed. However its not all under the midnight moon that the meetings will take place. Not all meetings will be of a physical nature. Though im sure the undertones will be present.
Its something that may never again come across my lap, so I think I will jump in and enjoy. I dont think it will be perfect and I know Ill be challenged in ways I might never have been. But I look forward to learning about myself and the lines, boundaries and grey areas around me. Im also curious by nature and this give me an in as to why people do the things they do, myself included. The things I do for research.
I hope I havent offended anyone in my search for possible knowledge, understanding and of course pleasure etc...
I am nervous and excited, which is a great feeling. Walking into an experience knowing that I am in control (to an extent) and that at times that control will be relinquished leaving me with a raw vulnerablility to someone (after my nerves have been appeased)... Tangent, sorry.
I learn something from every experience. Whether its a good or bad one. I look forward to the experiences that are in my near and present future.
I could go on and on in this post. Ill leave it as is. An introduction to a new chapter in my life. Will it actually become something? or was it all hot air? Im not sure. Im willing to find out and live out these experences. Who knows I might hate it or might just be the thing im looking for.
posted by darling @ 9:23 AM
5 Comments:
At June 10, 2006 3:44 PM,
Brewster said…
Wow...How much older? Too bad I am in Flordia. ;-) Good luck.
At June 12, 2006 12:58 PM,
afrobev said…
Good question! I was going to ask how much older is this bloke? Not that it matters though I suppose. Like you say it's the experience of it all that counts and I just hope it turns out to be a good one.
I could go on a bit here and ask about your relationships with older men before (aka your father etc) to try and get a grasp on the situation, you know whether you are subconsiously trying to replace a father figure but that would be too personal as I don't even know you except through your blog so I won't harp on about that one. But Im in to all this counselling thing at the moment so forgive me.
Be careful but have fun Darling. take it easy
James a.k.a Afrobev
At June 12, 2006 1:57 PM,
darling said…
He is 20 yrs my senior.
My relationship with my Dad is great, hes very supportive, loving and allows me my freedom to make my own choices. Im also his confidant and theres a great deal of respect for each other.
Its more of an educational choice for me. Ill be learning a lot from this experience/pairing. About myself, how much I can handle and what I can handle. Ill be able to find out what I like, dislike and just basically experince things that I might not be able to in a 'normal' ... pairing lol
Always careful and safety first. Thanks for watching out. Feel free to try to figure out this mind. Its fairly twisted.
At September 08, 2006 1:10 PM,
George said…
Older men rock ... of course I have to say that because I am one of them.
At September 09, 2006 12:27 PM,
darling said…
*smile*
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