darling

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Monday, August 28, 2006

64 - growing up

How do I know when Ive grown up? I dont. Is it when I can walk in a crowd and blend in, where no one looks at me like I dont belong? Is it when I walk in a crowd and people turn smile and call out my name?

Is it knowing that on different days of the month a letter in the post will arrive reminding me that I have until this day to surrender funds for purchases from retailers, various restaurants and bookstores. Is it when I am able to single handedly take care of all of those purchases sans aide from anyone.

My body has made some changes since I was in grade school running with the boys, climbing trees and jumping in the lake. Now, I no long run with the boys but from the boys, theres a different kind of climbing and on walls at that and I have wanted to tell someone to go jump in a lake.

I still like popsicles, braiding my hair, finding new hairstyles, reading magazines, comic books, ankle socks, stuffed animals etc. All the same things that I enjoyed when I was young-er. I now enjoy things that wouldnt have crossed my mind at that age. Like lingerie, stilettos, various swimwear,

I enjoy visits to the spa. I enjoy spending hours with Sven whose hands are miracle workers. I enjoy travel by planes, trains and hot air ballons etc.

Ive gained but have I grown? What is being a grown up. How do I get there and will I like it. If I dont like it can I go back?

12 Comments:

  • At September 05, 2006 8:30 AM, Blogger Tony said…

    For me, it depends on the day, whether or not I'm a grown up. Some days the weight of daily problems, bills, responsibilities and so on make you feel too old. But then there are days when you feel like you are 17 again. You feel silly about a new girl. You learn something simple and new and life altering.

    I'd never want to go back. Life was difficult then, for different reasons than it is now. But it's good to feel the good parts of adolesence again.

    I think questioning it all is a sure sign that you're a grown up.

     
  • At September 05, 2006 10:53 AM, Blogger darling said…

    Hi Anthony,

    Im sure I have much to learn still. I look forward to it and will continue to question things.

    Love that...'You learn something simple and new and life altering' I agree, very much!

     
  • At September 05, 2006 2:47 PM, Blogger afrobev said…

    I feel very grown up at times. But most of the time I feel as if it wasn't through choice but through necessity. I suppose I do have very childish habits that I think I keep subconsiously as a link to childhood. I think like a grown up most of the time and I am very consious of that. In a lot of ways I wish I could think completely like a child again and not have the everyday worries and concerns that goes with being an adult. The loss of innocence is also a tell tale sign and I haven't really got any of that anymore!

    Being a grown-up sucks!

     
  • At September 05, 2006 4:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I knew I was grown up when I could speak to my parents as a peer instead of having the role of child-parent.

    -Kaston (from george's blog)

     
  • At September 05, 2006 4:15 PM, Blogger Brewster said…

    LOL Do we ever really grow up? I am not sure if we ever really do. I teach at a high school and many say I am as bad as the teenagers, so who knows. Why do we have to grow up?

    LOL Anyway, I would never admit that I have grown up.

     
  • At September 05, 2006 8:33 PM, Blogger Hale said…

    Grown up? Why would I want to be a grown up?
    Seems I have made the choices and taken the paths that lead to becoming a 'grown up', and most of the time that's the life I lead.
    Sometimes though, I choose to not be a grown up. I enjoy being 'young' for my age. I'm fairly certain it will help me live a longer and healthier life, and it sure is a lot more fun than being a 'stuffy ol' grown up'. ;)

    An excerpt from a poem my sister wrote:

    Adults don't laugh half often enough
    they're mostly sober sides
    With "too much to do" and "not enough time"
    There is work to do besides.

    That struck a chord with me when she wrote that about 20 years ago.
    I don't want to be a sober side, and not have enough time for my kids, and friends, and wife... and me!

    I don't want to be a grown up. I accept all the responsibilities of being a grown up, but I refuse to be one. :p

     
  • At September 05, 2006 9:16 PM, Blogger darling said…

    Welcome Kaston,

    That makes fantastic sense!! I wonder if my parents would laugh if I told them they have regressed and have been demoted to not being grown ups :) I think Ill keep that a secret and let them think a little.. its good to keep their minds active. But Ill sure hear about it later on :) Hmm maybe its when you can tease your parents without consequences :)

    Hey Brewster,

    I think the more you spend with your own children and other peoples children you stay younger than others who might not. (to a degree) Thats something that I learned as a child... deny deny deny :)

    Hello and welcome Hale!

    Indeed why would anyone want to be a grown up :)

    Very nice poem. Its nice to find something that opens yourself to new realizations.

    "I don't want to be a grown up. I accept all the responsibilities of being a grown up, but I refuse to be one."

    Well said :) lol

     
  • At September 05, 2006 9:31 PM, Blogger George said…

    When I am around my parents who are 80 and 86 I still feel like their son and not the 55 year old adult that I am.

    Perhaps that is what allows me to do stupid things that I, perhaps, shouldn't ... cycling 100km in a day or 1700km over a summer, pushing myself in the gym ... cycle 5km in 10 minutes, row 4km in 10 minutes, etc..

    I can spout trivia of the 60ies to some of the younger people I know and they look at me with a glazed look in their eyes ... and that makes me feel old.

    Do you wear your stilettos with you lingerie?

     
  • At September 05, 2006 9:42 PM, Blogger darling said…

    Hi George,

    Say hi to mom and dad for me :) Do you still feel like you cant say certain things around them and you cant let them know that there are things that youve done that theyve told you, you shouldnt?

    Oh my.. sounds like a great work out! We all know you work out cz you want to get all the young ladies too ooh and ahh over your muscles :)If not the muscles... to show your endurance *ahem*

    *glazed look* 60's trivia?? *smile*

    hmmmmm would you like me to wear my stilettos with my lingerie?

     
  • At September 05, 2006 9:51 PM, Blogger darling said…

    Hi James,

    Sometimes in the early morning when Im running late for work. I seem to mumble that line too :)

    My goodness.. you arent an innocent young man anymore? :) *whispers* Does.. she know??

    Dont let go of childish habits. Its a great reminder of who you are and how its still the same you, but with grown up habits :)

    dont let all those grown up habits take over :)

     
  • At September 05, 2006 11:06 PM, Blogger George said…

    Darling,

    Yes there are things that I won't say around them ... I won't curse and be vulgar (not that I do very much) and no I have not told them of certain things that I have done that would upset them. I guess I don't have that open a relationship with them (nor with my brother and sister either).

    The workouts are actually for my health (mental and physical) but don't let anybody know that. Do you think they would like my endurance ... I mean, 100km in a day?

    60ies trivia ... I am cut to the bone with your comment.

    And yes I would love it if you wore your stilettos with your lingerie ... as long as I can watch (that's the voyeur in me peeping out).

    And who's Sven? Sounds somewhat pornographic ... Sven and his magic fingers!

     
  • At September 06, 2006 7:23 PM, Blogger darling said…

    Hello George,

    In our parents eyes we are always going to be their little ones no matter how not little we are anymore.

    Im not a big fan of cursing and vulgarities either.

    There are other things to consider of course, 100 km a day..how many times do you do that? It all adds up :)

    Well, theres something else Ill have to school myself on. 60s trivia. Maybe I will look for a tutor..

    Peeping George.. you have taken everything that Tom has ever had..I wonder if that is why they insisted on a hiher that usual fence in the backyard?

    (note to self, George likes...)

    Those were magic hands :) not fingers. Which brings me a different kind of satisfaction at the end of our time together.

     

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