104 - for now

So im having a mental crisis. Nothing I cant handle. These things happen. Maybe I can just sweep it under the rug to accompany the other issues ive left there to be taken out to solve at a later day.

No there arent that many issues under there. I try to handle everything when they come about. Though some things just get put on mute so there is no little voice that constantly reminds me of the things I am supposed to do. I dont think thats how things get handled :)

Ive been getting more hours at work which is good I guess, extra hours translates into extra money. Thats always good. It comes at a good time, I think. Holidays are coming. Presents for other people wont suddenly materialize in front of me.

However, it takes away from other things in my life that need attention. Men, friends, family and pets. OH cant forget the gym. Im sure I am forgetting a few things that also need attention but for now the above are what comes to mind.

Im filling in for one of the girls that work in a different department which means that instead of an 8 hour day. I will be working a 13 hour day. 4 of the 6 working days. Shes off for a week. I cant work 2 of the days she is off because on one of those evenings I am bartending. The other... well.. thats not exactly a day off for me. It will be a day of running around getting things done.

I miss going to the gym. I dont get down on myself too much, just enough to remind myself that its for now not forever. As long as my will stays strong I wont succumb to defeat. My dogs give me a bit of a hard time due to the decline in walks and long romps in the park. I know they still love me. Family seems to be ships passing in the night kind of relationship for now, but that will change I am sure. Friends, I have had to cancel dates and outings. Men, I have no time for (sigh) No thats a lie, theres always time for all of the above. Just have to sacrifice sleep and rest.

If I make time for all the above AND expect to be going on full throttle at work and throughout it all. Ill need to be on some serious energy bars LOL Nothing unnatural please. I dont know if my personality can withstand all of that and remain my true self. Im sure that at some point I will become fake and uncaring of things that dont warrant much energy to be expelled.

Its for now not forever. I have to keep reminding myself. Im a bit off on a few things but I know that I can always pick things up where I have left them while I concentrate on the things I have to take care of. Its the way of life. A lesson to be learned in organization, of time management and self discipline.

Ive been eating well even if I havent been diligent in visiting the gym. Its fun eating well and I will even admit that even the tease of what I been able to say no to is a bit fun. It solidifies the new and healthy lifestyle that I am incorporationg into my life. I dont want to say I cant go to the gym because I can do it. It just makes it for a longer day if I go to the gym for 5:30am to be at work for 7:30am til 4pm then rush to the next place to start at 4 or a bit after finally ending at 9pm.

Ive got to have time for a shower and me time. Dont I? Me time people might not care much for... but I am sure that they would all appreciate me taking a shower, I am not trying to say I smell :) I just want to feel fresh and rejuvinated. Plus it helps feeling clean, skin so soft, slipping something slinky to bed and feeling absolutely decadent. Helps in the sleep process. Im sure you know what I am talking about.

I feel like a vacation. A long one. A long relaxing one. A long relaxing, calming one. A long relaxing, calming and re-energizing one :) To be exact (sigh)

That or sleep. Where my mind can bring me, even temporarily to that place where my mind and body hovers in a state of bliss.