342 - OT

D called me earlier this evening. Hes back. Im addicted. To him. To something about him. Im wondering if there are meetings for addictions like this. I need help. Its like getting a fix when I hear his voice. When I see him theres a rush of adrenaline through me that really feels good.

I wonder if he feels that way too. Or if anyone feels the same way towards someone else and not actual drugs.

He probably doesnt feel that way and wont worry too much about it as I know that Im wired completely differently than he is... and to other people period.

Its interesting as were both really laid back people. Him more than I. The difference is that I take a little more time in letting things go. However compared to the general public me letting things go happens pretty quick.

On the family front. My dad just returned to San Diego from Alabama. His business trip was cut short but hes happy to be home again. He calls every other day and its nice to talk to him even if its just a few minutes sometimes.

The last call was regarding my sister and her ending her relationship with her beau. I think my dad was really bummed about it. Why? I'm not sure. Hes worried about her but I told him shes doing OK and if he needs anything she knows she can come to me for anything. In fact... and I didnt tell my dad this tidbit. She already did. Other than doing my sisterly duty of listening and giving great Darling advise.

She asked me for money. Im not sure why I didnt expect it sooner. I knew it was coming but just wasnt prepared for it. Of course Ill help her with what she needs. She hasn't mentioned a figure yet but I'm sure that she will.

So her plans are to move out on her own. Find an apartment close to her work and something that is affordable. I know how much she makes and I told her that she would have to make sure to budget accordingly. I told her what I did when I moved out and shes prepared to grt a second job if needed.

I told J3 that today was my last day there but we talked and Ill stay on payroll for emergency purposes. If they are stucck and really need someone, depending on my schedule I might be able to come in.

I missed a call from The New Job this morning. I wont tell you what kept me distracted and occupied. Its a bit embarrassing to share. So I missed out on Overtime. Darn. I was really looking forward to working some as the money is good and I plan on banking my OT for time off for next year if I can get the time off. If I cant get the time then Ill be able to cash it in so thats my plan.

Also they are currently in contract negotiations and theres talk of strike. I guess theres always talk of strikes when negotiating. So If it so happens that we do go on strike and I have some OT banked. Ill just cash those in so I have some income during that time.

Dont really know how much Ill be able to bank by that time which might not even happen but its good to be prepared.

I like work but theres always those few moments where I get really nervous and anxious. I dont like not knowing. I like to be as prepared as I can be for most things in life so in some cases at work I dont have the opportunity to prepare as I would like. That makes me nervous.

D has been great with it all, even through my worries. Hes very reassuring and I like hearing him say I can do it. In the end I can do it. ot because he said so but because I have no choice. It is my job.

Anyway I went to pick up his belated birthday gift but the store was closed so Ill have to pick it up sometime this week in between work and errands. He told me not to bother but I'm going to anyway. Its nothing fancy. I know he'll use it. Well, I hope he will. But if not then thats OK. I don't know if he uses what I got him for Christmas. I wonder...

I checked my voicemail and I had 11 messages. I laughed at some of them and I called back a few people to keep in touch. I havent called one of my girlfriends. I really should. Her birthday is coming up as well. Ill have to start thinking of what to get her. Most likely a day at the spa.

I told D that I kissed my date. He teases me about it. I wonder if he kissed his date. He says he didnt. I dont have any reason not to. But Im still a bit jealous about the fact that he was out with someone else. Why? I know I dont have a hold on him. Were not in a relationship. Theres no ring on our fingers. Just one of those things that makes me go hmmmft!

I asked him about kissing and told him Id like to do more of it with him if hes open to that. Why do I talk about these things with him? Because if you don't ask you don't get. If you don't ask you'll never know. Id rather know sometimes. Depends on the situation of course.

SB has been really excited about seeing me again and hes already called me to let me know that he will try to make sure to come to town more often. We had a quasi serious conversation regarding the reason I am open to seeing him when he is in town. I couldn't give him a straight answer that he would be happy with so I changed the subject.

I wonder the same thing about him as well but I know that theres to much to reveal if I open that can of worms.

T called me and I didn't recognize who it was for a little while and thought it was really someone else. Until he mentioned something and the light went on in my head. We talked for a while and he told me he was home visiting family for a while. I was a bit upset that he didn't try to reach me when he was closer to me. His family lives in Toronto, about 4 hours from me. Thats closer than where he is in Chicago.

So we got caught up on things and I told him about The New Job. My concerns and all that. he was happy for me and thought it would be good step for me if I wanted to move to a different department. Which is always a possibility as there are many internal postings that I should keep an eye out on.

I havent forgotten about putting pictures up on this blog. I know it hasn't been too exciting or up to date. Theres been so much happening but I find that sleep reaches me before 'Im able to do more.

Another week starts tomorrow. How time flies. Make sure to stop and smell the roses. Enjoy the little things and doing your best is all anyone can ask of you.