361 - wedding bells

D’s weekend was full of wedding details. Someone else’s wedding of course. If it were his, this post would be a very different kind of post. More negative and leaning towards the male bashing. D being the specific male that Id be bashing. This is however not the case. Thank marshmallows.

So back to his weekend and my thoughts on marriage. It scares me. Maybe its one, two or a few things that scares me. Like out of all the people in this world, out of all the men in this world, of all the men that might make an appearance in my life in some way, shape or form.

One of them, may just one day be someone I decide I am able to share my life with. That seems to be a huge issue as I'm not sure that it might ever happen. That’s just me being negative and modest with some humble pie.

It is kind of scary in the fact that it will be one person to live with day in and day out. To support each other sexually, mentally, emotionally, financially and spiritually to name a few. One person who will be there for you and you for him in times of need, success, failures and all that comes in between.

Its all fantastic to want to find someone to share all of the above with. Its just difficult to find that person. Maybe for some its not difficult. Maybe that’s the wrong word. Ive heard that it happens when the time is right, when you aren’t looking.

Another part of it is finding someone that will be able to satisfy all the things that one person needs. Someone to laugh with, hang out with, play with, live with, grow with, work with and so on.

With all the stories of spouses cheating, with the times that people spend apart when they could spend it together. When people ignore or become complacent and take each other for granted how are people supposed to choose just one person whom they wont do those with.

I know it happens to us all and we do it to people we know, whether they are friends, family or coworkers. I guess the mental picture in my mind of marriage is a bit of a fairy tale.

Maybe its me that needs to change the way I think. Maybe it’s me that expects too much. I’m not discounting that fact. It very well may be the reason that’s holding me back from finding The One and deciding that its time for that chapter in my life.

I like the fairy tale in my mind. I know it needs work. I admit to being open about change. Maybe.. I’m holding onto the fairy tale tightly because I'm scared.

I'm scared for many reasons. Some maybe ill get into another time. For now. I like the idea of weddings. The celebration, the gathering of friends and family to watch two people tie the knot.
In the back of my mind I recall the stats on divorce and reasons for it. But I still wish them all the best and hope that they are able to continue to grow, live and move forward together.