74 - sometimes
I met with a man once, he was considerably older than I was. First over the telephone lines, he made me think of hot nights and fun flirtations. Sometimes you just get a feeling. I got the feeling in a big way. After a few phone conversations I decided to go meet with him. He owned his own business and I met him there. We talked and hit it off right away.
I learned during one of our conversations that he was married with children. Whom he would do anything for. I could hear it in his voice. The love for his family was evident. Meeting him was a treat. I was attracted to him. He was a gentleman and one that was full of life.
Not only was I physically attracted to him, I was attracted to his mind. His thoughts were all over the place yet they all came together at the end. He had such business sense that I wanted to tap into his mind and syphon out everything and learn it all.
I never told him of my attraction to him. I think he had an idea. Nor did I act on it. It was new to me at the time to be hungry for someones mind and body at the same time. I didnt know how to approach it, how to handle it or how to present myself even if he were available. Another reason I didnt do anything, I met his family and thought them wonderful.
Prior to the whole family moving and settling into Ottawa I met with him where he lived. I flew there to meet with him and some of his colleages. I spent the day there acomplishing much. The trip was work related and there was nothing more to it than work, though in my mind, scandalous thoughts ran amuck.
It was surprising how jealous I was when I saw them together. Him and his wife. Im not sure if it was because I knew no one else like him, or if it was because I couldnt have him.
I still visit with him once in a while. Or we cross paths somehow at different places. I dont feel the same as I did towards him, I think the distance helped. That the time spent together has lessened, which also helped. There are still memories of what my mind has imagined but never will be.
They are nice memories even if those memories never happened. The thoughts and ideas were pleasant and always good. Maybe that why things happened the way they did. I have something good to add to the memory banks.
I guess thats how things work sometimes.
I learned during one of our conversations that he was married with children. Whom he would do anything for. I could hear it in his voice. The love for his family was evident. Meeting him was a treat. I was attracted to him. He was a gentleman and one that was full of life.
Not only was I physically attracted to him, I was attracted to his mind. His thoughts were all over the place yet they all came together at the end. He had such business sense that I wanted to tap into his mind and syphon out everything and learn it all.
I never told him of my attraction to him. I think he had an idea. Nor did I act on it. It was new to me at the time to be hungry for someones mind and body at the same time. I didnt know how to approach it, how to handle it or how to present myself even if he were available. Another reason I didnt do anything, I met his family and thought them wonderful.
Prior to the whole family moving and settling into Ottawa I met with him where he lived. I flew there to meet with him and some of his colleages. I spent the day there acomplishing much. The trip was work related and there was nothing more to it than work, though in my mind, scandalous thoughts ran amuck.
It was surprising how jealous I was when I saw them together. Him and his wife. Im not sure if it was because I knew no one else like him, or if it was because I couldnt have him.
I still visit with him once in a while. Or we cross paths somehow at different places. I dont feel the same as I did towards him, I think the distance helped. That the time spent together has lessened, which also helped. There are still memories of what my mind has imagined but never will be.
They are nice memories even if those memories never happened. The thoughts and ideas were pleasant and always good. Maybe that why things happened the way they did. I have something good to add to the memory banks.
I guess thats how things work sometimes.
Labels: Xmemories
posted by darling @ 4:35 AM
4 Comments:
At September 17, 2006 1:35 PM,
harleen gandhi said…
hmmmm.....nice posts u've....
At September 17, 2006 3:17 PM,
Brewster said…
Yes, I know the feeling. When I spoke of my ghosts. She was a wonderful person, but the timing was not there. I found her quite fun to talk with and to discuss our beliefs. As you said, it is a found memory.
At September 18, 2006 11:00 AM,
Anonymous said…
I was told once that if you are married or in a committed relationship that even thoughts of deep intimacy with another person can be construed as cheating. I'm not sure that i agree, necessarily, but I do think that some of the most profound love is when you let your heart be owned by someone.
He might not have said it directly but I guarantee his feelings were mutual.
At September 18, 2006 4:22 PM,
darling said…
Hi Harleen,
Thanks for stopping by. Thank you Im glad that you enjoy them.
George,
Never have I ever had a one word comment from you. Youre being cryptic. lol
Brewster,
Great memories to have even though things might not have gone a certain way.
Anonymous,
Welcome to you too! I like your thoughts on this and its not often that people think the way you do. I find that intriguing.
Thank you for that. Maybe its best that I dont know if his feelings reflected mine... though its nice to think that he did.
Thanks for stopping by. I hope to see more of you and thanks for making me think :)
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