thirty one - moments
I want to get away. Go away and leave behind all that I know, to go somewhere where I can start over. I know im not the only one that feels this way. We all have moments where that idea seems like the answer. Is it? Maybe one day, ill have enough courage to actually do it. See if it is the answer. I wont know until I try it.
Do I have issues? more so than some and less so than others. I think its all relative and all in how you see things. Some days it seems like Ive got everything under control, work, bills, men, life, money etc. Other days it feels like how did I ever let things get this way?? All in perspective Darling.
Today, its more of a fresh start away from the things and people that keep me down, away from the people that hold onto my ankle rendering me unable to climb. Maybe im looking at it all wrong. Maybe they are there to help me? By making me go though challenges that will help me in life? I dont know. Its better to think that way instead of maybe they are here to keep me down and infect me with their negativity. I dont want to be negative, I want to be who I am. I dont want to be tainted by their feelings of angst, vanity and selfishness among other things.
Thats the problem with the way I think... I can go either way. Think that the problem is a blessing in disguise. OR is it really a wolf in sheeps clothing? I dont know.
Today Im losing the fight. Im throwing in the towel. Take me where you will. I just dont care. All my work feels like its gone nowhere. I see no meaning in my life. No future in the way it is heading. Where did all this negative feelings come from? One person. Someone close to me. If I have nothing good to say about someone I shouldnt say anything at all right? Ill be silent now then and hope that this feeling passes...like all moments do... this too shall pass.
LATER, Ill have to post something that makes me feel good :)
Do I have issues? more so than some and less so than others. I think its all relative and all in how you see things. Some days it seems like Ive got everything under control, work, bills, men, life, money etc. Other days it feels like how did I ever let things get this way?? All in perspective Darling.
Today, its more of a fresh start away from the things and people that keep me down, away from the people that hold onto my ankle rendering me unable to climb. Maybe im looking at it all wrong. Maybe they are there to help me? By making me go though challenges that will help me in life? I dont know. Its better to think that way instead of maybe they are here to keep me down and infect me with their negativity. I dont want to be negative, I want to be who I am. I dont want to be tainted by their feelings of angst, vanity and selfishness among other things.
Thats the problem with the way I think... I can go either way. Think that the problem is a blessing in disguise. OR is it really a wolf in sheeps clothing? I dont know.
Today Im losing the fight. Im throwing in the towel. Take me where you will. I just dont care. All my work feels like its gone nowhere. I see no meaning in my life. No future in the way it is heading. Where did all this negative feelings come from? One person. Someone close to me. If I have nothing good to say about someone I shouldnt say anything at all right? Ill be silent now then and hope that this feeling passes...like all moments do... this too shall pass.
LATER, Ill have to post something that makes me feel good :)
posted by darling @ 10:22 AM
2 Comments:
At June 21, 2006 10:36 AM,
afrobev said…
How come you are feeling this way? I must admit to have gone to counselling over the last few weeks and it has helped me a lot. Not because I am depressed or anything it's just sometimes you can put issues to the back of your mind and now I am being honest with myself and asking myself why I am feeling a certain way.
Everyone feels like running away from it all from time to time but I guess those issues that you didn't deal with will always be there when you get back. I don't know. Take care anyway Darling.
James
At June 21, 2006 1:05 PM,
darling said…
"..those issues that you didn't deal with will always be there when you get back" SO TRUE!!
I think when all the little things add up, I feel like getting away. Yes it does happen every once in a while. I think I am strong but sometimes, I feel helpless and when I feel that way, I want to start anew.
If you ask me if id change anything? My answer would be, No I wouldnt change it because if I do, I would change me.
Post a Comment
<< Home