85 - The best

"Remember when we were little and wanted to be just like mom? ha ha ha ok so its not funny AND so not true :) You practically supported me as if you were my mom. We're not bad..'that' bad, but youve done ...so much more that a sister could/should have done. For that and all the laughs, all the tears, all the dogs all the bullshit, all the GUYS! Everything!! I am grateful and unbelievably blessed to have such and amazingly loyal, and honest sister. All thats passed has helped me grow. Even though weve aways lived or seperate lives. Times where we dont get to talk for days/weeks. I know that you love me. When I relly think about it and all tht youve done- I cry. You didnt have to help me, call or write me. But you do. That means a lot more than you know. So I want you to know that you are awesome. School/no school- youre living the life you want to live. No real regrets. Nothing you choose to do is wrong. You do what you do, no apologies. I dont care what people say, school will always be there; the people we meet, the places we go and the things we do...we'll meet, go and do when we get the chance. Youre taking those and living life. "There is no greater disservice we commit in this life than living within the grips and confines of fear" You taught me that. You live it & learn it. Call it growing up, through boys, family, issues, life, youve been there one way or another in my life and I pray everyday that we'll be there like we were once more. Sitting on the steps talking, laughing, living. I owe you everything because youve taught me everything that Id need to know to survive today. I love you. Im sorry I cant give you the winning lottery ticket or a vacation like you deserve or anything special like that but... I promise to repay you for everything one way or the other. "
love
your sister

The above was written to me for my birthday from my younger sister. Damn if I didnt end up crying in the parking lot while reading it. Im crying now just sharing it. That letter was by far the best gift she could have given me, ever. I have no words to share how much emotion I have. The tears wont stop and I just love her. Im glad she knows it.

No one knows me like she does. I tell her so many things that would make any other person think I am insane. She looks at me and thinks that I am the greatest sister in the world. Sometimes I wonder if she heard me correctly and I find a way to repeat something in different words... and she says as long as I am safe and happy.

Tell me how to explain the way I look at my little sister and think of how she got so grown up. Shes growing up. Slowly but surely.

'No payment required, dont you understand little girl? I cant give you the vacation or the lottery ticket either. I just want to make sure you are the best of me and the best of you together. I dont want anything but you to be. Just be.'

I dont know what else to say. Anyone have any tissue? I seem to have emptied this box of mine.