107 - This is me being mean

I never want to be like you. I knew even when I was younger that there was something about you that I didnt like. I used to tell myself that you were irreplaceable. I used to tell myself that there was no one else like you. My how my ideas have changed.

I also used to think that you were great, wonderful and wow! What happened to that person? Was it an illusion? Was it an act? I dont know. I clearly dont care... anymore. I cant ask to have that person back because its not my place to want that person back. Its yours. I thought at some point that I wanted to be like you. Ive come to the conclusion that I dont. Never, I never want to be like you. I dont want to be associated with you, seen with you or have anything to do with you.

I dont want to be anything like you. I dont want to be manipulative. I dont want to be selfish. I dont want to be rude, mean or unbearable. I dont want to be the cause of so many peoples discomfort. The reason people cease to talk when you come in the room. I dont want to be someone people cannot trust. Someone people cannot share things with. I dont want to be like you. I dont want to suck the enegry from the world or be the darkness that spreads its shade.

I want to be someone that people can trust, hug and laugh with. I want to be someone that people can come to when they need help. I want to be someone that will make people smile and make their sprits lift. Shine light when the darkness seem to cast its shade.

If I could I would erase you from this world and my life, not only mine but from all the ones who youve caused pain. I want there to be no memory of you on anyones mind. I dont want you to have ever exsisted.