forty seven - family

Ill only ever have one mother and one father. I am very lucky to have a brother and a sister. As much as we quarrel sometimes. They will always be my family. No one else can say that they are my father, mother, brother or sister. No one.They might be some people who are as close. But never be.

If any of you by chance ever read this. I love you. You might not know everything about me and my life now. Thats partially my fault. Some things I know wouldnt be too welcome as common knowledge. You know I get annoyed with you all at one time or another. I will continue to be somewhat annoyed with you at some point. Such is life. I wont expect you all to never be annoyed with me though I know it will be a hard thing to find something about me to be annoyed about *giggles*

I know Im not perfect and I might have had some negative thoughts a time or three. I know that there will never be anyone like you all in my life. Weve gone through some things that wed rather not talk about. Some things that really get us all riled up. Sometimes weve also been divided on some issues. But what I remember most is the way we can all laugh together. Even its at the expense of one another. Its still great to share those moments together.

I probably never said it enough that I love you. I do. I probably never wrapped my arms you enough for a hug. I wish I did, theres still time to correct that. Im sure I could have given you the last cookie, oh wait. I know I did that for sure!! I thank you for going shopping with me and telling me the Gods honest truth about how I looked. Im sorry I couldnt reciprocate. Im kidding. You looked fabulous.

To my mom. As much as we disagree with each other I love you. You will always be there to remind me to turn the lights off and you will always try and figure out what it is im trying to keep a secret. What I am writing or typing. Who I am going out with and what his name is. I know that you care. Through it all. I hope that you know that no matter what happened or whatever was said, that Ill always be your daughter. Ive learned a lot of lessons, thank you.

To my brother. I wish so much for you it hurts. I wish that some things were different and others not so different. Ill always remember the cookie and the two-by-four. I will never forget it. I want you to fly. To soar. Ill always be here for you no matter how you land. If I could choose something to happen. It would be for you to embrace life and all it has to offer. For you are worthy of everything and more. Ive always thought you can do anything you want to do in life. I still do. I love you.

To my sister. I know you are younger than I am. Sometimes I feel like a child when I am with you. You seem so grown up its wonderful and it also saddens me. For I wish that you were the sweet innocent little sister that followed and adored me. (I know you did!) Unhurt by anything and stayed unjaded and free. Life sucks sometimes. Thank you for being close to me, for sharing things and listening with an unjudgmental ear. For yelling at ex boyfriends when I couldnt. Im so sorry that I didnt spend more time with you when I should have. Im sorry for making you feel anything less that loved. Im sorry for the times when I seemed too self involved. I could not have asked for a better sister. For you I also wish the world. I wish for you to be showered with love and tenderness. For health, wealth and happiness. Most of all, understanding, of yourself most of all and of others. I wish that all the things I have learned in my life so far that I have been able to share with you, that you keep them in mind. That you follow your dream, follow your path to greatness. I love you.

To my dad. Im so sorry to have disappointed you on occasion. I know you only want the best for me. For us. You have given so much of yourself that I want to make sure that I can do what I can for you now. I know were far apart and I know that the love you have for us is still there still strong still growing. I cant imagine what its like to look at your children and imagine what it is you are thinking. I just want you to know that I love you. Through it all I love you. No one else has been on my corner like you have. I have no words to say how much I appreciate all you have done for me, with or without my knowledge. Ill only know how much when I have my own children. Ive learned lessons even though some of them came to fruition years after an incident :) Thank you. I love you. Be safe.

There is so much for me to write about my family. So many things I want to say and share. Even if I dont say it or show it as much as I should. I love you.