forty - scared
I was scared to swim in a lake.
I was scared to sign up for a gym membership.
I was scared of being in the dark after watching a scary movie.
I was scared of being turned down for a job interview.
I was scared of sending someone an email.
I wasnt scared to meet a stranger for coffee.
I wasnt scared of possibly having sex with someone after 15 min.
I wasnt scared of dropping 400$ at the casino.
I wasnt scared that I as running around in a rain storm w/ lightning.
I wasnt scared of the big needle they used when I donated blood.
I shared the above with you to figure out what makes me do things and not another. I find that some things I am willing to do so outrageous. The ones that I am not willing to do so lame. I look back on some things and call my self a wuss or a goddess. Do YOU understand why you do some things and not others??
Is it the fear factor? After weighing out the pros and cons, the cons just overshadow anything else, no matter how ludicrous they sound. The cons themselves may all be preconceived notions and ideas. Not actually carrying any weight but since they hold weight in the 'what if' area. It 'seems' worthy to be on the con list.
The risk factor? First is it the risk of what we are about to do or the risk of what will happen after? What scares me more. Doing it? or the results? What type of risk is it? something mental? physical? emotional or spiritual?
I am not close to figuring out this issue. I just have small victories and large losses some moments of WOW and some huh? I am Learning through it all. Helping out where I can and eager to go through more to get some answers. There is so much to talk about on this that I do not know where to go with it anymore *blush*
In the end I think it is our own selves who give fear power. Plant a seed of doubt and we feed those negative thoughts with ideas, taking away the confidence we would otherwise have. Leaving us frozen to take any other course but to pass on the opportunity.
Moments of insanity, clarity or is it moments of insecurity. I think it comes down to moments. Depending on a number of factors that I wont even go into. In that very moment when we have to decide, based on confidence and feelings etc. The truth is revealed. Not a solid unwavering truth, but truth for the moment.
Another moment, at another time, at another place will arrive where a choice has to be made based upon the factors that have brought you to there.
Plant a seed of courage instead of doubt and watch how outlooks and decisions change.
If it does come up similar but not exact circumstances. Is that a sign that you made the wrong one the first time around? *eeek*
I was scared to sign up for a gym membership.
I was scared of being in the dark after watching a scary movie.
I was scared of being turned down for a job interview.
I was scared of sending someone an email.
I wasnt scared to meet a stranger for coffee.
I wasnt scared of possibly having sex with someone after 15 min.
I wasnt scared of dropping 400$ at the casino.
I wasnt scared that I as running around in a rain storm w/ lightning.
I wasnt scared of the big needle they used when I donated blood.
I shared the above with you to figure out what makes me do things and not another. I find that some things I am willing to do so outrageous. The ones that I am not willing to do so lame. I look back on some things and call my self a wuss or a goddess. Do YOU understand why you do some things and not others??
Is it the fear factor? After weighing out the pros and cons, the cons just overshadow anything else, no matter how ludicrous they sound. The cons themselves may all be preconceived notions and ideas. Not actually carrying any weight but since they hold weight in the 'what if' area. It 'seems' worthy to be on the con list.
The risk factor? First is it the risk of what we are about to do or the risk of what will happen after? What scares me more. Doing it? or the results? What type of risk is it? something mental? physical? emotional or spiritual?
I am not close to figuring out this issue. I just have small victories and large losses some moments of WOW and some huh? I am Learning through it all. Helping out where I can and eager to go through more to get some answers. There is so much to talk about on this that I do not know where to go with it anymore *blush*
In the end I think it is our own selves who give fear power. Plant a seed of doubt and we feed those negative thoughts with ideas, taking away the confidence we would otherwise have. Leaving us frozen to take any other course but to pass on the opportunity.
Moments of insanity, clarity or is it moments of insecurity. I think it comes down to moments. Depending on a number of factors that I wont even go into. In that very moment when we have to decide, based on confidence and feelings etc. The truth is revealed. Not a solid unwavering truth, but truth for the moment.
Another moment, at another time, at another place will arrive where a choice has to be made based upon the factors that have brought you to there.
Plant a seed of courage instead of doubt and watch how outlooks and decisions change.
If it does come up similar but not exact circumstances. Is that a sign that you made the wrong one the first time around? *eeek*
Labels: Dating, Happenings, I feel, looking back, looking forward, Me, Sex
posted by darling @ 9:13 PM
3 Comments:
At July 11, 2006 4:40 AM,
afrobev said…
It's quite weird when you put it like that. But I think we all have an inner conflict going on all the time I suppose.
For instance when I was on hols there was one part of me that just wanted to sit in the sun and read, another part of me wanted to go on the jet ski's but I was having this constant inner battle of what to do. I decided to sit in the sun.
Was it because it was easier? Probably. Was it 'cos I was scared? I wouldnt say I was scared but it would have taken more for me to do it and I guess the more boring, sensible side of me won on this occasion. x
At July 11, 2006 8:10 AM,
darling said…
Inner conflict, bad enough that theres conflict vetween good and bad now theres, scared not scared, easy not easy. Never ending conflict :)
I have to remind myself to be patient and everything will get done at some point. It wont be the end of the world if I dont so something right away.
You might not have gone jet skiing... there will be plenty of time to do it. The opportunity wasnt lost, just postoned. Plus I love a good book :)
At July 11, 2006 11:00 AM,
Ellee Seymour said…
I love the name of your blog. And yes, courage is essential. We must take risks and live our lives to the full.
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