91 - bounce

Ive been feeling a bit out of sorts for the past few days. No real reason. I think the ltitle things are adding up and soon the damn will break. Its one of those moments where you know its not the greatest day. The sun might be out and the birds chirping and all that, but inside theres something dying.

There really is not one specific thing I can think of that is causing this death. If I did know I wonder if I would be able to give it back some life. Like a flower thats been kept in the shade without sun. Thats what it feels like. Needing something so bad that without it the end will come. That without that something, without being moved to it, without it coming to me there will be an end.

Sounds dark. Feels dark. Im hoping its as easy as opening a window to shine some light in. I think some things are meant to wither away, I cant tell what it is. Why cant I pinpoint this flower and bring it back?

Maybe its meant to happen this way. Maybe its a lesson of some kind. Is it that there is darkness in me that nothing living can grow and live? Is it that things are meant to come and go. That we should appreciate what we have and not take things for granted? Is it a reminder to stop and smell the roses. Is it to remind me that with life comes death?

Why cant I keep things together? Why cant things stay seperate? Things that arent meant to happen are happening.

If I cant stop the eventuallity Ill accept it, embrace it and look around and work on the others. Help, nurish and feed.

Enjoy every moment , good or bad, its another to add to the memory banks. I probably sound like a broken record. 'think positive, be nice, keep busy and take care of yourself'

Oh well, its my life, my thoughts, welcome.

... like a bouncing ball.. Ill bounce back...