243 - Rose

D - Good thing I jerked off today since we cant meet for lunch

Darling - What about me? I haven't yet today :( Unless its more fun on your own..

D - Ya not so much, always better with you

Darling - :) ahh so you do remember what its like!! JK I love how you make me cum just so you know..

D - That makes me feel good

Darling - It should (never got to send this text, I'm interrupted with him sending)

D - And I love watching you cum

Darling - You should watch more often hint hint :)

D - Its never enough is it

Darling - Enough fo (never got to send this text, I'm interrupted with him sending)

D - Never enough for you

Darling - (I send a blank text by accident Its appropriate as my tummy ins't feeling well. I'm not liking where this is going)

D - It just never seems to be enough

Darling - Its really great, I think the sex is fantastic when were together. I just want more.. when you get me going its like a snowball effe.. (I don't get to send this text as I'm interrupted with him sending)

D - Starting to think you need someone new

I don't know what to think. So I stop and don't think about it prior to dialing his number

D - hello

Darling - Whats with all that nonsense?

D -----

Darling - Is everything OK?

D - I just don't think I can satisfy you

Darling - You do though

D - It seems like its not enough. I know were not together all the time and I know that you're satisfied when we are together but the times when were not together... I know you are always wanting...

Darling - When were together its great. You're right. When were together its fantastic. You get me going and I don't want to stop. But you do stop... because you have to go. I can keep going... but its not the same without you. So I want more. If we had more time together when we do get together and you didn't have to leave right away...

D - I just don't think I'm enough to satisfy you. I think I'm getting a complex or something because of it.

Darling - Is it no longer fun for you?

D - that's not it.

Darling - oh OK (I know... hes told me when its no longer fun then it'll stop)

D - We'll talk about it more another time

Darling - OK, well... have a great day at work

D - thanks


I cant talk to my sister about this. I cant really talk to anyone about this. Its strange. What would I say? I'm seeing this guy who might want out because of my high sex drive. People would either think I am crazy and wonder what kind of high sex drive I have or think he is crazy for wanting to possibly end things with a girl who has a high sex drive.

Thoughts...

He mentioned me going with a boyfriend and I said I didn't have one of those.. did he want me to say he was my boyfriend.. or bite on that one? Nahhh that would have just scared him and I know hes not looking for anything like that.

He didn't invite me to go to Vegas with him when I put it out there. So I got the feeling hes not wanting to have more with me. I don't know, I just wanted to go to Vegas LOL

Is it even my sex drive that's an issue? I don't even know.

I probably shouldn't even continue thinking about it until we talk more about it. How can I not? ARG!! I wonder if hes thinking about what just happened at all? Or if its just my mind going a mile a minute.

I feel like calling him.

Asking him if that was his way of getting an out.

I want to tell him that I do like him but I know hes not looking for a relationship. I'm OK with that because I don't know how to be in one. I just know how to do what it is that I do. Maybe its time for relationship diarrhea? Get it all out there and see what happens.

We talked and I told him its because I am very satisfied with him sexually that I want to have sex with him often. Not that I am not satisfied. Its that I just want to be in coitus and feel that satisfied ... often.

My goodness are you reading this??? Doesn't paint a very flattering picture of me does it? (sigh) Makes me look like a horny rose. (I didn't want to be toad hence the rose)

I told him that he shouldn't feel bad. He has his own life and has things to take care of and cant be at my sexual beck and call, though it would be nice if he were. I also told him that I'm just going through withdrawals. We went from 4-5 times a week to twice a week. Give a girl a break. You cant just cut it off cold turkey and expect me not to be on the edge.

The feel good sexual feelings I have are great but they are clouding other parts of my brain and I need to put an end to that so I don't screw up what I have at the moment. Its not conventional relationship but whatever it is I don't want to yuck it up. Worse case scenario is that we never speak to each other at all. I don't know if I could handle it if there were no sex involved...

Who am I kidding... of course I could handle it. Theres always someone waiting to be the next quasi relationship right? Thank goodness I'm picky.

Hes the main ingredient at the moment. So it seems like a bigger than I make it out to be. Ive got to remind myself that I am still doing my own thing. Making plans with friends, family and I'm also meeting new people :)

Life is good.

Happy Friday the 13th :)