Choose Darlings Adventure

The last time I went to the casino I had a major EEK moment. I left my wallet in the bathroom stall. What would make me forget my wallet you ask?

Option A.
I was putting on a brand spanking new purchase of a white bikini and in my excitement left it there.

Option B.
I was so excited about the possibility of winning hundreds of dollars. I left it in there.

Option C.
I was taking off half of the bikini and wasn't paying attention because of my clever idea that I left it there.

Heading to the roulette table I reach into my purse and realize that my wallet has been left behind. I'm hoping that it is still where I left it. Theres a part of me that is thinking its been 3-4 minutes since I have been there. Praying to all the Angels and to all that is good in the world. Hoping that all the good deeds that I have done allows for personal karmic intervention.

My prayers have been answered and my wallet is the topic of discussion at the counter where 3 ladies talk about how to go about finding the owner. I tiptoe my way in and try not to attract attention as I clear my throat and in a tiny voice ... which comes out in a loud voice say 'I am so glad that its still here. Thank you so much ladies for looking after it.'

They smile seeing that its returned to its rightful owner and after a few minutes of sharing lost wallet stories I walked out smiling and with a big weight off my shoulders. I walked up to D and told him I was done gambling for the night. He looked at me incredulously and I filled him in on my great luck. He laughed at me and kissed my forehead. Ill tell you I blushed like a schoolgirl.

We went there with 2 of his friends, 1 Ive met before. The other, the shyest of them all I just met at the start of the road trip. Nice guys. Very entertaining.

I went and did my thing. Flirted with them and the other card players. Rubbed some of my good luck on them and it worked. One was down about a few hundred dollars and wasn't in a great mood as one would expect. I sat by him and made him laugh and talked to the dealer and soon his luck turned around and his cards were making his pile of chips grow.

He told me not to leave and I stayed for a while seeing him feel better and get his money back. I left him. I wanted to spread it around. By then I had a few drinks in me. Since I wasn't playing I was indulging in other.. sins.

D wasn't doing great. Wasn't doing badly either just a waiting game. We looked over at his friend and could tell that he was down again. He facial expressions and demeanor was screaming of loss. We decided to take a break and grab a bite to eat.

Interesting conversations at the table. Not sure if I should have been there to hear any of it but I stuck around so I was included and I threw in my 2 cents here and there.

After eating I decided to try my luck. I was thinking that since I was lucky enough to get my wallet back I should do well gambling.. I know. Its a lame excuse but in theory... :)

I played with D. I followed his rules and played with 100$. I was a little nervous risking it as I though I already won the jackpot getting back my wallet.


Did I....

Option A.
Play long enough to win back my 100$

Option B.
Bet it all on one number to see if I still had something left in the karmic pull.

Option C
Play and have number after number come up letting me walk out with an extra 250$

On the way back D and I sat in the back seat. As we did on the way there. This time it was dark and I had errant thoughts of going at it without the 2 in front knowing. That was unlikely. Instead we held hands. I was OK with it. It was nice. I didn't freak out. We also fell asleep together. My head on his shoulder and we ended up against each other rather comfortably.

So when we had our first date or outing as I should probably call it he tried to hold my hand and I was a little eeked about it. Three months later we hold hands on the way home from a fun road trip. I'm OK with it.

Its all in timing.
I feel kind of clueless .
I need a wake up call.
Don't let me daydream.
That will just start a snowball effect.
Of something that I might not want.

I was talking to my sister about it and told her about the history of hand holding with D and she says that I told him if without words that I wasn't interested in him as someone in my life when I didn't partake in his hand holding plan at the beginning.

That started him on the Friends W Benefits idea and so it has continued on in that fashion. Me being all girly and thinking all funky and wanting to hold hands just means that I'm comfortable with him now and can possibly think of him as someone... significant.

Oh what doe she know! :) lol I taught her a lot of what she knows. I'm such a great teacher. Its times like these where its good to share knowledge because once in a while. Its good to be reminded.

I had sex with D for lunch today. While it was very good. I was left wanting. Not quite satiated. Not quite full. I was a little disappointed and not by his performance. Not in the least. It was great. I'm just in one of those moods. Where if we had kept on going. That I would not have minded looking out the window to see that the moon was out. Forget work I need to have complete sexual satisfaction.

I wanted to be limp and breathing heavily into the bed where pillows once were and are now on the floor. I wanted to continue the ride of the great orgasm that I had. I wanted to continue to rub bodies against each other. I wanted a lot more things that might get a bit graphic for me at the moment as I am blushing away letting my mind run with errant thoughts.

I was glad to have been with him but also sad that I couldn't have what I wanted. Which was just... more.

I need the help that only The Soup can give me. I feel a little tug of hesitation in doing so but I need this to be taken cared of. Otherwise... that's all ill be thinking of.

Plan? Meeting with J tonight for coffee. If things go well... perhaps. If not.. maybe another day with him. If not. I might have to try K.

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If perchance you felt a tone of sorrow here. Its because I cant have what I want. I'm having a pouty moment and want to have my cake and eat it too.