320 - honest

I'm really nervous about the new job. Its something I don't know and its something that is new to me. I'm scared that Ill fail. That I wouldn't have made enough preparations if maybe I might not succeed with the program.

The future in the new job would bump me up to a new level a, different plane. Of someplace that Ive never been and wasn't quite sure that I would achieve. Monetarily and I guess if I'm being honest there's a security there that Ive never had with any company.

Which is why I'm nervous.

The other hand of complacency is telling me that I'm scared of leaving what I do have. I don't ask for a lot and I am OK with how my life is. There's always room for improvements. You can only stay so long in one place before moving on.

Like anything in life. Sometimes its time to move on.

Its scary. Yes. Its unknown. Yes.

Will I do it. Yes. In the name of life and living it, I will.

The above made me think of some of the things that I don't shy away from. Meeting someone new for coffee, dressing up provocatively for dinner. Attending parties where I don't know anyone and have to make great first impressions over and over and over. With every new person that greets me, that I come across, that strikes up a conversation. I'm always there making sure first impressions of myself go well.

I get a little bit nervous at the beginning but I do relax after the world continues to turn and I'm no longer waiting for it as I'm already there. In the middle of it. Living it. Instead of worrying about what it will be like.

Even if its something that unknown to me. Once I'm in it. I'm in it. Once I'm in the situation there's no going back, I just have to work through it and hope for the best.

:)