171 - idiot

I'm an idiot. All sorts of idiot. Just stay away from situations that you aren't sure of Darling! I cant! Its just not me to stay away. I want to play with it. I can handle it and I can go through anything so I don't care.

I only live once and who knows what this life will bring me if I don't put myself out there. If I don't jump in with both feet. The worse thing that can happen is that I die. Really... well unless there is some flesh eating yuck that attaches itself to me and is painful. Shake that thought off.

So yeah. I have now lost the mysteriousness of Princess Lulu with JB. I didn't want to seem like I was playing games with him and talking myself up. Actually as per my usual self I was pretty modest. I also knew that I didn't want to have him with any expectations on me being tall, blond and leggy or even close to it as I am the total opposite.

So... he now knows what I look like and I feel like an idiot. Ill get over it soon enough. There is always an initial nervousness that comes with meeting someone new, wondering if there is a connection, that spark, that chemistry. I guess I really shouldn't worry too much as its just something that is. I cant change it so I must live with it.

Its out of my control and Ill just to see how things progress. Now to take my mind onto to someone I mean something else.

About 2 minutes ago my phone rings. New person. I will keep you posted if anything interesting happens. Probably if nothing happens also as sometimes that's entertaining as well.