178 - juggle

Last night went well, met with M and enjoyed the time spent together, we talked, we tried out a few things and I mu hu ha ha! Found the quickest way to get him off. Very nice, simple and easy. I like leaving him to himself for a few minutes to see what he does, of course there was some viewing pleasure for him and I think what I enjoy about sex is that there is so much to learn about what people enjoy. Everyone is different and likes different things, touches and caresses.

It was entirely too short a visit with M but that's how it goes with him and I. Perfectly fine by me. Hes married to his business. Literally. I think his phone rang more than mine which was a shock. The difference is, my phone was on silent. His was chiming away. No bother he loves what he does and its neat to see that he talks to his family often and is passionate about his work.

He leaves me after a couple of hours and tells me I have the place all to myself until late in the evening. He kisses me goodbye like we were a couple and he was just on his way to a meeting at work, but really hes going back to his life in a different city until the time comes where its gone too long since we've seen each other. I brush my teeth, turn the volume up on my phone and crawl underneath the covers.

I take a short nap to regenerate some energy for the rest of the evening. My phone rings and it is JB, asking me how I am doing and where and when were meeting. I tease him and tell him that he can come over. He asks where and I tell him where I am and he laughs at me telling me its cheesy. I laugh with him because well. I'm not usually so forward. Inside I am thankful that hes declined but I continue to tease him about it and pretend to be insulted. He plays along or falls for it I am not quite so sure.

Hes in the area. I told him to be downtown and I like that he listened. I know there are hockey games going and that hes a huge fan, so I ask him where hes heading and hes heading to The Keg, a steakhouse. I tell him ill meet him after I finish my nap which he has interrupted and he coaxes me out of bed and into my clothes. Quite the charmer. He hasn't charmed me out of them but hes charmed me into them. That's... new.

On my way to my car, I get lost trying to find my car. As I'm looking for my car B calls and we talk a bit. Ill be seeing B on Thursday night this week. That's if things all go well. I lose connection as I'm going down the elevator to the parking levels. I look at my phone and shake my head, I telepathically send B a mental mssg telling him ill call him when Ive got a moment. Lets hope he got that.

This would be the second time I have been to The Keg Steakhouse. The first time was in Kingston with a good friend, great time there too!!

So after finding a parking spot I walk nervously to meet JB. I don't quite know why I am nervous. Possibly because I somewhat like his voice on the phone, like his attitude, and that he doesn't take it lying down and actually keeps me on my toes, somewhat. First meetings are always a bit awkward but fun and interesting.

I walk into the bar side and look down the bar and don't seem to notice anyone that looks like him. I reach in my pocket to call him and I turn around to go outside to be able to speak without yelling when who do I see sitting in the corner? JB. sitting smiling at me. I shake my head at him as hes has seen my whole less than graceful entrance. I walk over to him and sit beside him.

Its a bit different as now there is the whole idea of being face to face and I'm not sure if I can give as good as I get face to face in the repartee dept. I wonder if I am destined to be the perfect woman only via the telephone. I shake that thought of as impossible!

Hes already ordered a beer and has the menu open. I order a drink and out of nervousness I order something that I don't really care for. I must be really nervous for more than the usual meeting someone new reasons.

We talk and its easy, we continue to tease each other but I'm not sure why I am there. I don't know what to do with him, where to put him or how to act. Its not someone I want to have sex with. OK I had that one slip where I did offer up my body and was duly shot down. Don't worry I shot him down just as many times. Its a pretty even/fair deal we've got going on.

I think I know he wont just want to jump in with both feet and eyes closed so hes... safe? I know its a bit cliche... and I don't know a lot of about relationships, specially what goes on in the minds of men.

So I tell him that its good to meet him and all that good stuff. We talk hockey, his phobia of needles and blood. Hes so disturbed by it that he doesn't even want to talk about it.

Dinner comes and its a good meal. Sirloin and shrimp with a plain baked potato which he tells me I have to eat the skin, that's how he does it. I try it and tell him its a bit tough. He laughs. I don't take another bite from the skin.

While there is silence between us as hes watching the game intently and basically being man. I think silently looking at the direction of the TV. I think of not being attracted to him physically right off the bat. However sitting there after a while. I find that I am. Hes tall 6'4. Hes more that a foot taller than I am. Interesting. Kind of a turn on. Hes not skinny, nor is he large. Just... right for his frame.

I was thinking of what it would be like to kiss him. How it would feel to have his tongue against mine and what his large hands would do while we were in lip lock. Knowing that hes a bit reserved made me want to get him to not be.

We stayed til the end of the game long after dinner and I felt somewhat uncomfortable. I just didn't know if I should tell him he could go meet with his friends and that it was nice to meet him. Just an overall strange feeling. I had no idea what to do where to take it or what to say at the end. When the waitress came back with the bill I pulled out my wallet and put some money down and he pushed it back to me. I thanked him and said he didn't have to. He gave me that I'm a man look Ill do this part. I looked back with a what the hell am I doing look and he just gave me that I know that I'm playing with your head. I just shook my head and let it go. I might be imagining things.

I walked him to his truck which was right in front and shook his hand and kissed his cheek, there was s slight collision on the second cheek which he was unaware that I would do and I apologize and said 'I do that.' I told him to drive safe and walked away and didn't look back.

I got on my phone and checked messages. 4 missed calls. Two from B, 1 from D and the other my sister telling me to be safe and be careful, call her if I need anything. Since we've taken that self defence class were both kind of hyped up looking for ways to get into trouble only to use what we've learned to get out of trouble. Silly us.. we know.

I call B back and get a busy signal. I try a few times but continue to get that same signal. No bother he'll call me Wednesday evening like he said he would. I call D and I ask about his day. He was sick with the start of a cold from working 20 hours the previous day and he stayed in bed all day. Sleeping. He has a cold and I told him that as much as I want him to come over later that night, I didn't want him to pass on his cold. He understood and said it was up to me. I kind of caved in the end and put the onus on him. He said he'd feel bad if I got sick but was very tempted.

We talked on and off before I went to bed and while I wasn't on the phone with D, I was wondering how things would change between JB and I after the events of the day with him. The picture he sent me of him he was in a blue shirt. I recognized him that way. The blue caught my attention then travelled up to his face. Bingo. I told him that and he said he figured he'd wear it as Ive seen him in it before. I was also wondering about K and whats happening there. D wants to go on a road trip sometime next week. Ill have to try and get off work somehow. I haven't even thought of booking off work to go to Detroit on the weekend like I said I would to go check out the Film Festival that Frank recommended.

At about 1130pm, I get off the phone the final time for the day. He said if I couldn't sleep he'd be around if I wanted to talk. I said I would probably sleep as soon as I was off the phone with him. I lied. I took a shower, prepared everything I needed for the next day and then went to bed with wet hair. Through out that I was thinking of the men in my life.

What to do with them all and how do I juggle my time and maintain the energy and momentum. How to find time to sleep and if I can compress sleep and yet have them pull me through the next day.

I have a feeling next week will be less exciting than this week, though I have been known to be mistaken on some things. Time will tell...

Whats on the menu for tonight? Girls night with the ladies. Dinner somewhere new and fantastic I think and then some drinks.. Not sure what we'll do after but should be fun, theres much to share and fill each others minds with gleeful laughter.

Oh and I learned yesterday that D's Birthday was on April 11th. I felt kinda odd that I didnt know. I mean there is no 'relationship' but lol I just felt like.. 'Oh I didnt get you anything'... But ill get him something because I have another excuse to go shopping. No other reason :)