218 - mistext

I know that Ive brought it up before. This thing with D and I. I don't know what it is. At the middle of the game Saturday night while I was bartending game 3 of the Stanley Cup Playoffs. I get a text message that was not at all meant for me.

'If she is wearing underwear they are see through cz I can see everything I don't think shes shy'

It was meant for his friend, one of his friends. Not me. I don't know if he knew this girl or not but I have to wonder if he sends anyone else anything about me and the things that Ive done. I just wonder that's all.

I kind of chuckle at the text that was sent to me by accident and I imagine him with eyes wide open, swearing up a storm at how dumb his accidental mistext was. I could have sent him a text letting him know that he sent it to the wrong person but I just left it. I had much more imortant things to do. Flirt with the hockey fans. That... and I wanted him to stew and come up with a story to go with it LOL

I also think about whether this thing, such as it is, will go anywhere as far as well, the future goes (any kind of future, short/long?) I have no idea. I haven't started thinking of couple things with him other than going out for meals and having sex. OK that's a lie. I have thought of going on a vacation with him somewhere hot but... I've also just pictured us only having sex and ordering room service. I do need sustenance to keep up with the sexual demands of my libido. HA!

Its simple this thing we have and I really don't want to complicate things. Which I will by having any sort of conversation about us that involves more than sex and whats involved in the sex we are planning on having.

No, its not all about sex. It cant be when we keep in touch throughout the day. For a few moments I thought it was so he could make sure I wasn't out gallivanting about with other men. Ive gotten the occasional 'be good tonight' or ' no hooking up tonight' text from him.

I smile at his texts and continue with my nights. When the mood is right, I let cards fall where they may. If I cant meet him for some reason or he asks about my plans for a night when we aren't together. Ill be honest and let him know if I have a dinner date or what not with someone. I can never tell what his reaction is. Unless its what happened last time I told him I was meeting someone before he was coming over. That was obvious. Well obvious as in he wasn't having any part of it but that could be because he wants to be the first one to be with me that night. He assumed that's what was happening with the other guy. Silly.

Anyway. Its all just a little bit in the air as I want but I don't want. I'm too much of a chicken to say anything at this time but some one day I might just screw it all up and say things I'm not supposed to say in order to figure something out. I'm hoping though, that Ill just keep doing what I'm doing now even if I have the occasional inner conflict and doubt. That I'm used to :)

My sister and I have talked about it and we both agree that I have no idea how to go about having a normal relationship. But what is a normal relationship? I'm sure this can be argued til the cows come home. That's a big part of it I think. I haven't had a normal relationship and I don't know 'The Rules' if there are any. I know there have been books written about the rules of what to do and what not to do.

Going though it and living it seems much more my thing. I prefer to talk to people about it and go with trial and error. I also prefer to have it all bang around my head every so often. Hey.. as far as problems go? This is one of my biggest in my life at the moment. I'm not really complaining. Ill take this over many other things that people have going on in their lives.

So to sum it all up, I'm confused but sexually satisfied with whats happening.