376 - searching for porn

I got nosy and well a little curious on YouTube so I looked up porn. Yes my mind went there just to see what was out there. I have nothing else to say on that matter.

I'm still not sure how to just put up the video here in the post so it doesn't go open a new window to see the link. That's something Ill have to figure out sometime. So for now Ill just keep doing what I know how to do.

So this is what I found and what I want to share with you all because I thought it was well done. Do I agree with it all? Yes and no. I'm sure you will share your opinion after you see it :)

So, yes I do enjoy watching porn. It all depends on my mood which will dictate what kind to watch. I never knew there were so many different categories but I have to say that I'm sure that whatever people are into. Theres a website that caters to them.

I usually go to two or three different sites and that usually does it for me. Sometimes I get curious and click on a link here and there but I never stay and nothing new ever catches my eye. So the ones I do go to have enough variety that pleases me.

375 - The loophole

The loophole is for X amount of dollars you can bring the lady of your choice into the place where youre staying. The catch is they cannot enter your room.

The loophole is for double the amount of X in dollars you can bring the lady of your choice into the place where youre staying for 3 hours. They can eat, drink and partake in any activities held. The catch is they cannot enter your room.

The loophole is for triple the amount of X in dollars you can bring the lady of your choice into the place where you are staying for 24 hours. They can eat, drink and partake in any activities held. They can have their own room. The catch is they cannot enter your room.

21 year old bombshell + seven condoms = Killing Darling Softly.

Theres a part of me that feels empty inside. Lost, confused and scared of what happened. How its going to affect me and what Im going to lose. Lose in myself. I knew it was a possibility I prepared myself for it. But nothing quite prepares you for the sting. Nothing quite tells you youre still alive than the pain you feel.

Ive closed it off and Ive chosen for now to ignore it. To not deal with it. I will have to sometime and Im not sure what will happen when I do. If Ill still be me or if Ill become a shell of what I once was.

I dont know how to react and I just dont know how to react. Empty, cold and alone. Thats me for now.

Maybe Ill look for someone to fill that emptiness... something to remind me im alive.

374 - reminders

I forgot to share this one. A week or so ago someone told me to go to the store and buy salt. I thought...road salt? But no it was table salt. If it was bought on that day then the myth was that whoever bought that salt would have money all year? or was it every day of the year? Some money? a lot of money? I'm not sure but money is money.

It didn't mean they would be a millionaire but it meant that even if it was 5 dollars in your pocket that day it would still be you having money.

I'm not usually a superstitious person but I was hopeful. Like I am with lottery tickets and finding the one. You never know but it doesn't hurt to put it out there and try because you never know what might happen.

I did it. I bought some table salt. Not only because of that phone call but because I was running out of what I had at home. If theres any indication that the running out of salt parallels the running out of money.

Its a good thing someone was there to remind me to look in the pantry.

This reminds me of a necklace that dips low in between my cleavage. Or a particular scent I wear when I want to illicit a certain reaction. You never know if its going to work, but if it does it makes you feel better and gives you that added confidence.

Use what you have and run with it :)

373 - be prepared

I thought this was cute. check it out. Protection is important.

Ive used various brands and Ive yet to use this one. Maybe the next purchase will be something new.

help

Im in the mood. Like really really really in the mood.

Ds no help. Neither are any of The Soup at this point.

Im in trouble. Im online and looking...

372 - comparing vaginas

** Please note... there are no pictures of vaginas in this post :)


SE is a big vagina. The slightest tremor and he goes and shows off how big a vagina he is. There that was me being mean. But I laughed. Does that count as being mean if it makes me laugh? Probably.

He doesn't want to deal with me because I confuse him at the best of times. He has other things to worry about and cant deal with 'us'. Maybe in the future we'll see how things go.

I'm taking that as a thank you but no thank you... for the moment. It might not but my first reaction is to be angry and let down.

My reaction confuses me which I'm OK with because what is my life without a lot of confusion?? So that's whats going on there but on the other hand this works fine for me because I really cant be with someone who has a bigger vag than I do :)

Ill be eating those words later on if something should happen with SE. We shall see.

I spoke to a friend of mine this past weekend and he helped me calm down. I had a bit of a sad weekend where I had to deal with the issues that are all happening at the same time and I needed someone to distract me and it helped. Thank you G.

I'm getting into old habits that might be construed as self destructive. Depends on how you look at it of course. Its all about perspective.

There is crisis in my sisters love life as shes patterning herself after me.. a lesser version which is good because I'm a bit much to take sometimes. More watered down version of me might sound better? No? Didn't think so.

So Ive had a few more years and a more men than shes had to deal with and I trying to coach her through some things but there are just some things that needs to be learnt by herself. The art of finessing is something that she'll have to figure out on her own. Ive given her guidelines but told her shed have to work the details to match herself.

She gets frustrated with it and situations she finds herself in but the best thing Ive told her is that shes not the first nor will be the last one to go through it. I tell her to rest easy with the knowledge that there are ways to come out on top even if the situation leaves you in pieces.

Time. Sometimes she rushes and I tell her not to. To enjoy it all the small moments that seem meaningless. Why rush? If in the end you know there will be an end. Why not enjoy the small things and appreciate them more.

The answer to that is. Because it hurts. To have put meaning into something small makes it hurt more in the end. But to me, the more it hurt... the more it meant something. I want everything to mean something, my life, what I do, what I say and so on. I must be a glutton for hurt and pain then. We all pay a price. Mine just happens to be this.

How twisted is that? When my thoughts run that way my outlook is completely different from most of the population and makes me feel like an outsider when it comes to friendships, relationships and acquaintances.

Such is the price of being unique. The fun part is slipping into friendships, relationships and having acquaintances without them having a clue at how deep the twist goes :)


Ohhhh and what do you think of the boots?