372 - comparing vaginas

** Please note... there are no pictures of vaginas in this post :)


SE is a big vagina. The slightest tremor and he goes and shows off how big a vagina he is. There that was me being mean. But I laughed. Does that count as being mean if it makes me laugh? Probably.

He doesn't want to deal with me because I confuse him at the best of times. He has other things to worry about and cant deal with 'us'. Maybe in the future we'll see how things go.

I'm taking that as a thank you but no thank you... for the moment. It might not but my first reaction is to be angry and let down.

My reaction confuses me which I'm OK with because what is my life without a lot of confusion?? So that's whats going on there but on the other hand this works fine for me because I really cant be with someone who has a bigger vag than I do :)

Ill be eating those words later on if something should happen with SE. We shall see.

I spoke to a friend of mine this past weekend and he helped me calm down. I had a bit of a sad weekend where I had to deal with the issues that are all happening at the same time and I needed someone to distract me and it helped. Thank you G.

I'm getting into old habits that might be construed as self destructive. Depends on how you look at it of course. Its all about perspective.

There is crisis in my sisters love life as shes patterning herself after me.. a lesser version which is good because I'm a bit much to take sometimes. More watered down version of me might sound better? No? Didn't think so.

So Ive had a few more years and a more men than shes had to deal with and I trying to coach her through some things but there are just some things that needs to be learnt by herself. The art of finessing is something that she'll have to figure out on her own. Ive given her guidelines but told her shed have to work the details to match herself.

She gets frustrated with it and situations she finds herself in but the best thing Ive told her is that shes not the first nor will be the last one to go through it. I tell her to rest easy with the knowledge that there are ways to come out on top even if the situation leaves you in pieces.

Time. Sometimes she rushes and I tell her not to. To enjoy it all the small moments that seem meaningless. Why rush? If in the end you know there will be an end. Why not enjoy the small things and appreciate them more.

The answer to that is. Because it hurts. To have put meaning into something small makes it hurt more in the end. But to me, the more it hurt... the more it meant something. I want everything to mean something, my life, what I do, what I say and so on. I must be a glutton for hurt and pain then. We all pay a price. Mine just happens to be this.

How twisted is that? When my thoughts run that way my outlook is completely different from most of the population and makes me feel like an outsider when it comes to friendships, relationships and acquaintances.

Such is the price of being unique. The fun part is slipping into friendships, relationships and having acquaintances without them having a clue at how deep the twist goes :)


Ohhhh and what do you think of the boots?