186 - inadequate

Interest in JB is waning, not sure what to do about it. I find myself in an odd situation. Kind of in between. I don't want to wait until things get totally awkward and the calls and emails turn to yuck. So I'm undecided about what to do. So I think in this case, since I'm not too torn about it all Ill just leave it to fate to see if he gets in touch. There's no point in me trying to figure things out if there's nothing to figure out.

If he wants to get in touch he will, if not then well. There is my answer. To each his own. You've got to put yourself out there in order for things to start rolling and sometimes there is nowhere to roll. You've got to be ready for that. Either way, be ready for anything :)

I do like his voice. What can I say! I'm weak. Don't worry I wont tell him, ohhh I already did. but he might have a short memory. Lets hope that's all that's short (giggles) I thought Id inject some silliness there.

T2, after some time of not seeing each other somehow finds his way through the galaxy to me and were not an item, at all. Not even close. Just a momentary joining of two people. Like ships passing in the night. I like seeing people that I haven't seen in a while. Even though you know them, it was 'them' in the past and things about them might have changed, for the worse or for the better but its always neat to find out. Kind of makes things new. Nice guy.

K mentioned he will be off to Winnipeg for 3 weeks, I cant recall when but its for an interesting course that I asked if I could sit in on. He laughed and said probably not. So he'll be away for that time. He was supposed to come by this passed Wednesday and bring dinner with him. He sent me a text to bow out and asking for a rain check. Hopefully Ill see him before he leaves. We shall see.

B, might never hear from him after last week, who knows. He said he would work out some things and get in touch with me. Maybe Ill touch base with him sometime next week... keep the lines of communications open right?

1? who is now going to be known as K2, haven't heard from him and weirdly I might be talking to someone he does know. A bit awkward so I don't think anything will happen with either one of them as I just dont know what the future holds. If I did then well... Id be in a different situation :) Oh well. OK so I hear from K2 after about 2 weeks of nothing and it was a short conversation. Not sure whats going on but I'm not in a rush to find out so I'm not too concerned about it. If anything happens later great if not then that's quite all right.

I think were still trying to work out going out for drinks or something quite non commital somewhere but since both of us seems to be on the same page about not wanting to do the initiating we'll be in this situation for a while.

D and I went out last night to watch the hockey game Ottawa Vs New Jersey. Ottawa won! (5-4) YAY it was a good time, nothing fancy, very relaxed and had some appetizers and a few drinks. Talked during the commercials and his friend F was there flirting with everyone female including me. No I'm not interested in F. Hes a friend of D's and that would be strange, plus there is no chemistry.

So while were there sitting watching the game, my eyes turned towards the TV. I'm thinking of things of the naked male/female activities that will happen later on in the evening. Of course it might not happen. He might just drop me off at my apt and drive off. But we haven't seen each other in about a week. I'm pretty sure hes planning on coming up with me...

He parks the car in the visitors parking lot and as were stepping out of the car he says 'I'm assuming you want me to come up with you...?' I reply with 'Oh, I was wondering what you were doing' He laughs and side by side we walk to the building, he doesn't try to hold my hand. I am relieved, but he does reach behind me and palms the right side of my ass and squeezes. I do a mental smirk.

In the elevator we kiss a little bit, teasing kisses and tiny nips on my neck. Inside the apt he unbuttons my clothes and soon there is a puddle around me consisting of my skirt, top and bikini top.

Into the bedroom, things are frenzied, hurried and impatient. We rub, caress and hold on tightly. There are moans of pleasure and pleas for more. There is a moment when he holds still as if trying to suppress the sensation, he fails and there is a ferocious growl and a take no for an answer determination in him when he plunges in over and over taking himself over the top.

After a moment of shared silence and a moment to bathe in the feeling of post orgasm, I find my head on his shoulder and his hand stroking my hip. Our breathing slowing down but the smiles on our faces cant be mistaken.

A short time later he dresses and I parade around in boy cut panties and a tank top. He walks towards the door and the conversation goes a follows

D 'Are you bringing your friend out after I leave?'

I blush and smile. 'I shouldn't after that, but I'm afraid that you're leaving me wanting more. I'm sure I wouldn't if you stayed longer...' (hinting)

D 'Its not right, you're not supposed to bring your friend out after you're with me'

I bite my lip and then say 'I don't want to tell you things that aren't true. It was great what we just shared together, I just want to continue and since you're leaving... '

D 'You make me feel inadequate'

He leans in, kisses me hard and heads home.

So now I'm thinking, maybe I should keep some things to myself. I don't want anyone to feel inadequate. I mean it was great and I just wanted... well.. more.