230 - Warnings

I don't quite know how to start this post. I thought of a few interesting and honestly quite funny introductions but then thought I might seem a bit loopy given what has happened in the last 24 hours.

I am a new owner of 4 stitches. On the fourth finger of my right hand. I spent a total of 5 hours in ER. That's wait time included.

How this happened. Details aren't going to be given as they will surely show how much of a perfectionist I am. All you need to know is, glass when broken and I do not go well together.

When it happened I knew instantly without seeing the blood or looking at my finger that it was bad. CAll me clairvoyant. I didn't feel pain. I didn't feel nausea, I felt mad, angry and very shallow. Mad at the fact that I am a perfectionist, that if I wasn't so much of one... then I wouldn't be in that situation. Id have my finger intact. Angry that the hand is the same hand that had the previous unfortunate incident deforming my, because of that incident, less than perfect self. HA! Shallow because I just wanted my hands to remain as they were prior to all the hand drama. I didn't want anything to ruin .... me. (blush) I know better though. Plus theres always reconstructive surgery HA!

Its a finger, I know. I have others. Why focus on this finger? No real reason other than its mine and its no longer the same. Ive got stitches and I don't think they were done well. Its just not done pretty. There goes my perfectionist streak. I wanted to tell her to redo them but shed already poked me enough trying to get it done. I had an intern. She talked while she was doing the procedure. Not talked to me about things to take my mind off of what was happening but talked to herself.

... I wonder which stitch I should use...
... Should I try and do another one here or would that not work?...
... I don't want to keep poking holes in the finger so I think Ill stop there...

They froze my finger, maybe just so they can poke more holes than was necessary. They wanted to put in a syringe full of the freezing stuff and I looked at her and asked her where she thinks all that fluid would go. She pricked me in 3 places and my finger looked like it was going to explode. I was scared. She didn't need a third of what was in the syringe.

We took pictures before they cleaned it all off. We need something to go eww over later on. This is a great story to tell LOL Which is why I'm telling it now :) Maybe picture sometime in the future. Of my bloody finger that is :)

My sister asked me if I could feel anything, I said no. She told me not to make that face. I asked which one and she said the one that looks like you can feel it. I told her it was my eyes seeing something that should be causing pain but not feeling it. Mind games. I smiled at her and we laughed. She told me that that wasn't much better as I was gritting my teeth.

When my hand and the Intern was sterile my finger was poking out of the cloth and I told my sister it looked like a very small penis. We laughed and the Intern asked what was funny. We told her and she said that my finger was the third finger shed had to stitch that day and that shed never heard that before. She said she was going to picture working on a penis... I told her to be gentle It was my first time. We all shared a laugh.

So 5 hours, some sliced chicken courtesy of my sister and the dinner she just came from, a bottle of water, good laughs and catching up with my sister. Getting home at midnight, walking the dogs, taking a shower... with a latex glove and rubber bands... Ill leave it to your imagination... I went to bed to wake up at 4am with a throbbing fourth finger. I wasn't able to go back to sleep. I tossed and turned and wondered at how to make things feel better. My sister had my ice pack, I had no Tylenol 3 that Ive just learned exists and I was told would take away the pain and put me in a euphoric state... when did Tylenol 2 come out? Is there such a thing?

I don't take pills you see... aside from birth control, that's just common sense. So, no pills for me if I can help it. If my doctor says I need to take it then I do but I try not to take anything.

So woke up and got a text from D asking me if I am OK. He just got the text I sent the night before, letting him know about what happened. I didn't hear back from him. I thought he was asleep. He was. He felt bad and cursed his phone for not waking him when I sent the message.

He cares...?

I contemplated taking the day off but realized that this was the long work week that I have and it wouldn't do not to show up at J1 and then show up at J2. I would have stayed away from work had I not been scheduled to work at J2.

Which brings me here, writing this post about what happened last night. Nothing exciting. Kind of dramatic, but still filled with laughter.

I'm a bit worried though, about how sex will affect my finger. I'm a bit worried as sex promotes blood flow... Don't want any blood flow... well excessive blood flow in my right hand. I feel a bit self conscious with it and I'm thinking of what positions I can be in for sex. No pressure at all on it. Cant accidentally hit it on anything as that would bring back the focus to my finger. I'm going on a late lunch and going home for some much needed distraction. I'm looking to focus my mind on a different kind of throb on a different sort of ... appendage. (can I call it that?) on a different sort of person.

My warning to D... Be careful... my finger is fragile.

His reply. Its not your finger you should be worried about.

So much for warnings.