222 - irritated

I'm irritated. Was supposed to meet D for lunch and that didn't happen. I called him at 12:15 like he asked and woke him up from a dead sleep. I felt bad. He said he'd call back. He didn't. I sent a couple of texts his way and got one back at 2:30 letting me know hes sorry and he just got up.

I'm irritated. He sends me another text message saying he'll make it up to me. I hate waiting. I waited. I hate being stood up. I was stood up. So I ate lunch and was irritated with it. It gave me no satisfaction. Not this time.

I'm irritated. My sister and I are trying to set something up with my brother who I have sent numerous text messages to. No replies to any one of them. I was also worried that he was hurt somewhere and couldn't get in touch with me or my sister.

I'm irritated as hes all defensive when I ask him if hes OK and let him know that its polite to get back to someone. Specially if they are family, specially if its to spend some time with them to honor how they are getting older but apparently not smarter. I'm sorry that was uncalled for. I take it back.

I'm irritated as I wanted to go out for dinner with them during the week so I can cry like a baby this weekend when I have to put the Little one down. Now I have to take care of the little one Saturday morning and then celebrate their stupid birthdays.

I'm irritated and shouldn't say their stupid birthday. I just don't know if I can keep it all together.

I'm irritated as 2 days ago was my Aunts Birthday and I didn't even call her to say Happy Birthday. I forgot.

I'm irritated as no one called me to remind me. I know its not anyone else's fault mine but I remind people about other peoples birthdays so they don't look like an idiot.

I'm in the mood to fight. I want to fight and then have angry sex.

I know I wont fight with anyone. I'm not a fighter. I also know that I wont have angry sex.

Ill be celibate for the next 4 days... the joy of being a woman and all that jazz.

OK So hes called me back and is taking the afternoon off of work, not necessarily to spend time with me. But he said he would which is nice. We'll end up doing things together, though this should be telling as we will be spending time together which doesn't involve bodies rubbing against each other. As much as we both would like that... I'm not 100% sure it will happen. Stranger things have happened right?

The heat here today is perfect if a bit much for beach weather. I felt like going but decided against it. Ill be leaving early today, apparently D wants to try something new. I'm curious as to what it is...

I can tell hes looking forward to getting together, I have a mental scream if things go boom because there may be no sex involved in the afternoon/evening we'll be spending together. I wonder how that's going to turn out. I might be tempted to start discussions that I might be ready for.

Ill keep myself busy and have a mouthful of something or another to stop from having that conversation. I mean what? Its only been about 3 and 1/2 months since we've met. That cant be/mean anything. HA!

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- not looking forward to tomorrow,
- will sleep with the Little One tonight
- Treat the Little One to more treats and fanfare
- still conflicted over it all
- Hope you all have a great weekend.