405 - Looking back

So early this morning I bumped into my first ever boyfriend. I use that term loosely here as I would never have called him that at the time we were 'together'. It feels like it was a lifetime ago. I remember kissing him, a lot. I remember him getting to first base... not as much as we kissed but there were two times that I can remember. I enjoyed the kissing.

I wondered if he still kisses the same way or if his technique got better... or worse perhaps. Hes now married to his high school sweetheart and they have two children, a boy and a girl. I dont see myself seeing him in any other light than a friend, someone I used to make out with.

I remember ending that relationship over the phone. I didnt know how else to do it. I couldnt have done it face to face. I know better now. I wonder if he thinks back on that time together for whatever reason.

I wonder if I was his first kiss and so on. I just wonder what he remembers.

Oh how we change and grow over time.

404 - Looking forward

I have a trip planned for this April, Ill be heading towards Southern California. Im excited. Its still a ways away but Im looking forward to getting away from the normal day to day things that I have to deal with here. Im not complaining about my life but its nice to get away for a little while. Even better to not have to deal with winter and everything that comes with it.

Ill be going for just under three weeks and thats not long enough to take in what Id like to take in, see who I need to see and do what I need to do.

The first half of my trip will be spent with family who are all flying in to spend time together. Its been  a little over two years since we were all together like this so that will be fun and awkward. But mostly fun with lots of catching up and laughter. So long as we keep the good times rolling then that will do nicely.

The second half sees the rest of the family flying back to their respective destinations while I remain to enjoy the homestead as I see fit. Which is where AS of LA comes in. Not to be confused with AS of Ottawa :)

I met AS of LA the last time I was in California. We hit it off from the start and he did all the right things that garnered him invites to spend more time with me until it was my time to go. It was such a natural ease of comfort for me to be with him that I jumped into 'crazy girl mode' which I warned him about and said not to pay it any mind as it just needed to get out of my system. I assured him that there would be no 'bad' crazy to deal with. Life is so full of drama that I try not to contribute to it. He laughed at me and said he appreciates the warning :)

The most important thing I told him to focus on while 'the girl' got her way for a time was that .... In that moment, that time and space we were together. It was perfect, exactly what I needed on so many levels. And he fit that bill at that time. After that, its all projection in my head and that would easily be fazed out with the distance between us.

We have kept in touch with each other to not cut ties but I fear it may be different when we reconnect as its been a while. Ive shared that with him but hes not worried about how things will be between us. Its nice to have someone counter my worries and toss them aside like they are nothing... specially when its nothing. When its a legitimate worry he does address them and we act accordingly.

It would have been nice to be able to see him since that last visit but life can be a huge deterrent. I wont share what he does for a living but he works in the entertainment industry and living in LA Im fascinated with what he does and who he gets to interact with. He says its not as glamorous as I think it is to me and its so different from anything Ive had to deal with that it is. I tell him that all the time and its the truth which I think makes him puff out his chest that much more. I think its attractive.

Will this be something serious? Its hard to tell. Long distance relationships dont have the best track record and well, there are other things to consider. So for now. Its nice that there will be someone to add to my little black book even if they are in Southern California.

In the meantime, locally I have AS of Ottawa that continues to demonstrate what keeps me wanting.

403 - flip a switch

Music that flips a switch inside me and turns everything playful and naughty. 

Here are a few songs that does it for me. 

Earned it by The Weeknd

Sugar by Maroon 5

Love me Harder byAriana Grande

Talking body by Tove Lo

Hope you get a chance to listen to them when you can. Let me know if its just my switch that flips.

As a side note, a few days ago I was with AS and all the songs I mentioned played while we were en flagrante dilecto and it was just perfection. It added another dimension to the session which he noticed and asked about and I told him how the songs affected me to which he mentioned making me a CD with all the songs that 'flips that switch'. Sweet devious man :) 

Dream, Fantasy, Truth or Fiction

-Where are you? 

-What do you mean?

-I mean where do you go when you close your eyes, we kiss and your eyes close, I feel you but it feels like youre somewhere else in your head.

-Im here with you, closing my eyes makes me feel every pleasure so I can take it in and return it, make it better... make things more for you. 

-You do make things more... just better somehow... 

-Ill tell you what I think of when I close my eyes and were kissing. 

I think of your soft lips pressing against mine, how sweet it starts off, how lightly our lips touch and rub each other, then I feel your tongue against my lip and Ill open my mouth and lick your tongue with mine. Its playful. Like a greeting, then our lips part a little wider and we press our lips closer together to feel our tongue  wave over each other. Stroking with every lick. Which makes me think of what else my tongue would do to you, for you... and where your tongue would be on me. Licking and tasting other places, stroking other places. 

Thinking of that makes my heart beat faster, makes me want more and makes my hands wander over your body where they explore, they move over arms to your shoulders, then down your back and to your hips and then lightly over you and I know youre frustrated, I can feel it when I dont touch you where you want me to... how? your breath changes for a few moments and then I move them over you where you want my hands to be and I feel you settle in and continue to kiss me but this time its a little harder, not soft like at the beginning but with urgency. I feel your mouth open wider and take more of my tongue in your mouth and sucking it in until I make a small noise and you let go. I feel your lips against my neck, nibbling that spot that makes me knees weak. I make more noises letting you know its good and my hands continue to work you until we move out from under the spray of water and continue in the bedroom...

Dream, Fantasy, Truth or Fiction

Part 3

My pussy is hungry and your cock demands the feel of me tight around you. You're still hard and press me against the mattress, taking my legs and lifting them high onto your shoulders while you straighten my arms above my head and secure them there with one of your hands. The other wraps around your cock and you tease me by rubbing the tip over me hard and fast making me buck up, trying to get you inside me. You smile at my attempt and ease my need by slipping inside me but with only the tip and nothing more. You want me to beg, want me to tell you how much I want to feel all of you inside me and how much I need to feel you deep inside me.

My legs tremble and my breath comes out in shorts bursts, my eyes are tightly closed and then opens wide as I try to push my hips up to feel more of you inside me. I bite my lower lip and let loose desperate noises full of need to feel you all the way inside me to the hilt, spreading me open all the way, filling me with your thick hard shaft. My mind shouting silent pleas for more, anything more. I look up and watch your determination not to move, not to give me what I want.

I clench my teeth and release and long surrendering breath, words slipping from my mouth 'please, just please, I need it, more, please, I want to feel you all the way inside me, fill me... please' My hips beg with their attempts to feel more of you more deeply. I squeeze my muscles around the tip of your cock hoping you want that feeling through your whole length.

You like hearing my words and relent by slamming in deep and with one thrust youre inside me. Our bodies now moving back and forth with the rhythm of your thrusts. I can feel your balls tapping my ass and my breasts sway back and forth under your hot gaze.

All of a sudden you spread my legs apart and lean in for a long hard kiss. Our lips eating at each other with a deep need. You tug on my hair, pulling my head to one side exposing my neck and you lick my neck leaving a hot trail to where you bite down in that spot that makes my body tense in anticipation. Makes my breath catch before I scream out in pleasure.

Suddenly you pull yourself off of me leaving me cold and confused, then with quick, sure and deliberate moves you roll me over to my stomach and place a pillow under my hips, you spread my legs wide and without waiting for me to adjust you enter me hard and fast, going deep inside me making me arch my back and lifting my ass up to feel more of you inside me. I scream in pleasure and urge you on.

Your hands grab at my ass, palming each cheek, kneading them, letting me feel the strength which makes me think of what else you could do with them. I feel you spread them apart and you stop mid thrust, my body doesnt want to stop and continues to move when all of a sudden i feel a splash of something wet. In that pause you aimed and gathered saliva and let it fall onto my ass. I feel your finger gently spreading all that wetness around me. You feel me tense and unsure but still wanting you to thrust in and out of me.

I moan and in between the slapping together of our bodies im able to repeat over and over one word yessss... and you move my knees farther apart I rest my cheek against the smooth silky sheets, I reach over the front of my body and rub my clit as you pound hard and fast inside me. My fingers leave my swollen clit and I push my hand lower until I feel your cock in between my fingers where we koin. I feel you move through my fingers as you pull in and out of me. I tighten my fingers around your cock and alternate squeezing you in between my fingers and squeezing my inner muscles around your cock.

My head rests on the mattress and I move my ass up and down to meet your relentless thrusts. Ass up to meet your downward thrusts making you go in that much deeper which makes my breath come out in pants and makes me moan with so much pleasure. So much that it makes me clamp down around you which makes you grab my hips and I move my fingers back to my clit and just let you feel me convuse around you.

I hear you swear and and say youre close. You start to move faster pulling my hips into you making the noises of our bodies coming together louder. I cry out urging you to make me cum. You touch and caress my ass and give me a couple of playful smacks. I feel your hand tease my other opening, gently rubbing back and forth. You feel me relax and thats when you slip inside me. I freeze and feel you slide inside me deeper. It makes me clamp tight around your finger and your cock. I hear you groan at the grip.

I reach down and cup your balls in my hand and hear you moan, hear your breathing come out ragged and then hear you say 'fuck youre so hot, im going to cum, cum with me'. I can feel your cock buried deep inside me and feel so stretched and full. You slide in and out of me and your balls slap against me while I work my clit, taking me closer to the edge.

I can hear both our breaths coming out in short pants and my cries become louder and louder as we get closer to falling off the edge. Our voices mingle which urges us both on to feel each others hearts pulse, throb and release all over each other.