189 - childish

Nothing was planned for the weekend and nothing came up that was last minute. I spent Saturday shopping with my sister. I gave myself a starting budget of 100$ to spend and ended up doubling it. We had lunch at a favorite Thai restaurant and had great food and fun conversation.

Turning into the parking lot to get to the restaurant a cab driver decided to try to squeeze himself in before me and I of course didn't let that happen. I don't like stupid people and that extends to stupid drivers. Ill admit that it wasn't even legal for me to turn right where I did so I know we were both in the wrong for that. So I went and found a parking spot and did a mental grr towards stupid drivers. Taxi drivers or not.

I pull into a spot and see behind me the same guy who wanted to squeeze himself in. I'm thinking did he want this exact spot as well? My sister and I get out of the car and I am a little confused about why he was blocking off my car. So I walk towards the restaurant not wanting to give him the time of day. Maybe that was the wrong move? As he rolls his window down and asks me if I have my drivers license.

Darling, Of course I do... do you?

Non English speaking driver. Do you know how to drive? You could lose your life. Next time you lose your life.

My Sister. Are you threatening her???

Darling (and I hate confrontations of this sort) I understand that you may not be pleased about what happened but I had the right of way. Seeing as I am alive and you are as well. Enjoy your day. It might have been your last as well.

Non English speaking driver, says a few things like go get a drivers license and so on.

I take a deep breath and start to walk away. Sooooo not worth my time! I turn when I hear my sister spout out a few expletives at the driver and I smile and laugh. I think shes in a fighting mood as shes saying things that I would entertain thinking of. Shes swearing up and down and really giving it to this guy and hes still in his car.

I tug her arm and she follows me. Shes the fighter, I'm the lover. Both of us are fuming at the ridiculousness of the whole situation. I just get over it faster. As per her request she wants to wait outside for a few minutes to see if he does anything to my car. She apologizes and I tell her not to worry about it. She said some things that I wanted to but didn't and I told her it just wasn't worth it. If we took the time to deal with all the stupid people we came across then wed have a lot of things piling up on the real to do list.

I'm trying to teach her patience, letting go and walking away. The lessons shes teaching me? Ill save for another post :)

So after we see him drop off his wife and child and see them return with a small paper brown bag of some sort of food. We watch the car drive away. My sister apologized for being paranoid as shes worried hell go out and key my car and I know shed feel guilty so I stay outside with her. Calming her down a bit.

Inside we make fun of each other and come up with really witty if a bit late comments that we could have thrown at the man. Some that made us laugh and some that were really mean which involved a jet plane ejecting someone off sans chute :P we are so mean sometimes in thought only of course. In person we are the epitome of sweetness and delight... really. Its sick sometimes really.

That was the highlight of the weekend.

The low light involves me being brave and strong if all a farce. I enjoy horror movies and enjoy the squeak of the doors and the drop of a hammer when I'm not expecting it. So the movie of choice that I thought I could conquer for all future scary movies, was WolfCreek.

Not a good choice. About 30 minutes from the end of the movie I shut it down, almost in tears and hid myself in the safety of my blanket where no evil could get to me. I kicked myself all sorts of ways and felt a little childish as I am a 27 year old... dare I say woman who just spouted of all these things about how great it is to be me and I cant sit through and watch a horror movie in its entirety without almost shedding any tears.

So I tried to and cant do it. I tried to watch it on my own. I do need someone there. About an hour in my hiding place my cell phone rings and I'm reminded of the noise in the move The Grudge with Sarah Michelle Gellar. I'm hoping to not hear that noise when I flip the phone open.

Its D who was in Toronto at the time. I tell him what I did and feel even more like a total girl. Chin quiver and everything and as I tell him what I did or tried to do. I feel the start of ... nerves again. He tells me that I'm OK and that I should wait for him next time I want to do something like that. God the girl in me needed to hear something like that. I needed to feel protected and at the moment distracted from the eerie shadows dancing on my bedroom walls.

It hasn't totally left me. In the parking garage, I look at all the corners to make sure I don't see any movement. I leave quickly and recall the self defence lessons that I learned. Though no one would know what serving the sword means, that or up and over and buddy, around then arm barr (sic).

Oh well, in time I know my head will rest and feel safe. Though if that movie was based on a true story. Whose to say that a movie wont be made from something that happens to me (gulp) This is how people start getting things like... erm... phobias, that's the word... I think. Is it?

Self inflicted insanity? paranoia?

Its amazing what kind of tricks the mind can play. I know ill get over it in a few days. One day ill look back and call myself silly for allowing myself to get to that point. But for now... Ill be sleeping with one eye open :)

Please tell me its cute that I'm this way and that its not something I should worry about :)