304 - my mistake

I was talking to my sister yesterday and I mentioned one of my ex's, MDR. He lives in San Jose. We were together for a little over 3 years. I haven't talked to him in longer than that. He said it just hurt too much to continue anything.

Heading back to California made me think of him and I had a thought to call him up. Then I thought OK call and say what exactly? After 'hello' of course.

I wouldn't be uncomfortable. I'm just thinking that he might find it strange and there's nothing worse than knowing I make someone else uncomfortable. The exception of course is when its the sexual kind of discomfort that is followed up by good sexual tension which leads to well. you get the idea.

At the moment I'm not planning on getting in touch with him as I don't even know if I have the number around. Much less remember it I know the area code is 408... and I'm not even 100% sure of that.

I guess I'm just curious about a lot of things.

So a little bit of a panic to be thrown into todays post. I called the passport office to inquire about the status of my application. It was supposed to be mailed out for delivery on Dec 11th. I am hopeful that I will get the passport prior to leaving as it is essential that I have it otherwise I wont be able to fly due to the new rules to fly into and through the US.

It has yet to be printed as far as D knows. This is what they told him about his passport. He went a week ahead of me which doesn't bode well for me. His is already 5 days late in being sent out and I hope... that's all I can do is hope.

I know its my own fault that this is happening. I really wasn't planning a trip at this time and it only came about after I sent my application in. I know that it might all work out and I will just be worried about nothing... though it could be something huge as I wont be able to

A- Enjoy the take off and landing
B- Fly with my sister
C- See my Dad
D- Get away from the cold winter
E- Meet new people.
F- Just get away from 'my so called life'
G- Have a possible make out session at my layover in Chicago. With J
I - Have my imagination run away with total strangers at the airport
J- Leave it all behind
K- See my Dad
L- Be a part of the scenic view at the nude beach
M- get my money back for the flight
O- Do any type of shopping

There are more things that I will miss but I didn't want to think of the rest as that would just be helping me down the rabbit hole.

I'm debating now whether to even pack. I eventually will... just in case. There's no point in beating myself up now if I don't know what will happen so Ill just prepare. Either way I will make a trip to the airport Either I'm flying out or Ill be driving my sister so she can fly out.

Expect the worse hope for the best?

Cross your fingers!