332 - Go Sens Go :)

Darling 'I have a question.'

D - OK...

Darling Well, ...............(silence on my end)..... Um Never mind

D - ok...

Darling - Its just that it will sound vain and shallow...

D - If you have a question just ask. Its ok.

Darling changes the topic and we both laugh at something funny and as hes laughing... I ask very softly...

Darling - Do you think I'm pretty?

D - Do I think you're pretty? I know I'm not very giving when it comes to that kind of thing... but wait a sec do you think I would be sleeping with you if you weren't.

Darling - Well... Im sure it happens out there to some people. I...

D - I think you're really pretty.

Snippets of conversations from last night with D.

D - Guys at work will fall over themselves over you. You will love the attention. I know this.

Darling - Oh yeah? says who? You know... I think its already happening and I'm only in training. They were trying to convince me to buy a house and if I needed my driveway cleared of snow, they were sure they could have a list of guys who would love to help me out in that area... besides... I like the attention that I get from you.

D - (smiles and gives me a kiss)

I hadn't seen him in more than a week and it was getting to the point where we were both getting frustrated about that. So he came over last night after work and we had sex. It was great. I cant even write about it. Yet :)

My body still living in the memory of last night and is doing all very good things at the moment. TMI.. sorry.

D - Did I tell you about my new budget?

Darling - (laughs) another one? What happened to the previous one?

D - I didn't have a previous one.

Darling - Yes you did... (and I went into detail about what it was and he agreed with me.)

D - OK well this one is a bit different.

We talk about it and Its very doable. He mentioned that he will keep the budget until I'm done training as then it will have to be upped as we'll see each other more. As we wont see each other or go out as much in the next 5 weeks because of me still being in training. I told him to enjoy the savings as it will change when I'm on the priority list in 5 weeks.

I do expect to be on some kind of priority list when I a finished training.

He told me what he made on his lat pay cheque and in my head I wowed but thats OK, Ill make that same amount.. not for 2 years but thats OK. Time flies does it not? He asked how I was with my finances and I told him I wasn't worried about it as I wasn't thinking about it.

I mean I haven't changed any of my habits. I still go shopping and pick up things that I know I might not need and end up giving away. If I don't end up making dinner for myself then I eat something easy like soup and sammies.

Ive been eating really healthy and am continuing the daily use of the treadmill which helps when I come home from training.

Training is fun though I think thats just my personal way of putting a spin on what some people call intense and difficult. Its all in how you look at things.

More to come and I'm trying to find time to finish posts and reply to comments. Ive got a USB thingy that I can use to start and work on posts so its a matter of just getting the internet to hook it all up with. I'm looking forward to it and Go Sens Go!

:)

272 - glow and blush

My Grandmother may be going home tomorrow. My aunts a bit hesitant to bring her home so soon. However the patient is anxious to return to her home. I cant blame her.

I got called in to work tonight unexpectedly. I said yes. They were in a bind and my plans fell through.

Lunch with D was not only sexually satisfying. It was also emotionally satisfying. I really didn't want to go back to work. Though I did and I did have a smile that wouldn't go away. A glow, a blush that remains until now. We didn't spoon or cuddle or any of that but we did stay in bed and talk about things. It was... really nice. x`

What a fun afternoon. Which brings me to my next few thoughts.

- Libidos. What is low, normal/average or high? Does masturbation count or not.
- I know I shouldn't compare myself or my sex life with anyone elses.
- Sometimes it seems like I'm at the end of the line and everyone is doing things or trying things that I haven't and I continue to wait until its my turn.
- Other times Its the other way around.
- But mostly it seems like I'm at the tail end of the sexual revolution and I need to catch up.
- Catch up on what? I cant imagine things have changed that much.
- Or has it?
- I don't know, I'm trying to figure it out.
- So back to libidos. Does thinking about it count or is it just the act that counts.
- Because if thinking about.. .things count then... never mind :)

Ill be talking about this some more some other time :)

271 - muffins

D makes me muffins, blueberry, with fresh blueberries and something about it makes me all girly inside.


He cooks, he cleans, he works, he has fun, he... AND he bakes. I don't know if its any of that. Or if its my delusional self that's thinking he thought of me. In a non sexual way. He put 3 tasty muffins into a zip lock bag, for me.


Garsh I like the guy. He bakes muffins and I'm back to square one, go to jail, do not pass go, do not collect your orgasm. I like him all over again. Of course I never stopped. Its just now, there's more reason to like him.. Oh come on the man bakes!


Which brings to mind... do you know the muffin man? ... enter thought process...


...looking at the word muffin the word muff stands out to me...


I went out with someone whose screen name looked something like.. muff dvr...


... (smile) ...


Back to the muffins, and the muffinmaker they really were tasty. Just how I like them.


To the muffin man. He delivered, just how I like it. Love those lunch dates we have at my apartment. I should be thankful that its a 10 minute drive one way. You don't want to know how many times I have been late in coming back :)


Oh good news. Actually now that I think about it I'm not so sure if its good or not. Hes going back to his Old schedule. He'll be done at about 12:30am or is it 11:30 one or the other. The midnight adventures will re-commence in the first week of September.


I'm always a bit antsy when its been a while since he and I have had sex. Kind of like a kid in a candy store... or a kid in the back seat on a long road trip. Are we there yet? Are we there yet? When will be have sex? When will we have sex?


Its not the same with others in the soup. I think its because Ive singled this one out and hes up at bat?

I sent a text after we went our separate ways. 'I hope it was worth the wait' Playing up to the fact that its been a while. He replied with a damn right LOL

Now for some not so great news. I wont have contact with D until tomorrow. How strange its going to be the first day that we don't have contact for a long period of time. Ill be painting the town red. Him.. not so much but I know ill think of him. I hope he does the same.

270 - as of late

Friday.

Date night.. technically not a date. I just call it a date. Not to his face but here :) In the privacy of my little corner of cyberspace. With you because I know you wont go running to anyone that I know.

Started of well. Looked extra fantastic. Ill leave it to your imagination as to what I was wearing underneath my clothes. Looked good, smelled great, felt superb.

Met with D and we ordered and talked and laughed and teased.

Then I see a number on my cell phone that I dont recognize. I pick up thinking should I? Soemthing tells me yes. I do. Its my Aunt. Shes called to tell me that the procedure my Gramma got done (hysterectomy) went well. Though during the procedure she had a heart attack and was rushed to the Heart Institure in Ottawa. I got the relevant information.

Eyes got teary when D asked me if I was ok. I told him what happened and he gave me a hug. I wont go into how much I needed one.

I left, got lost and eventually found myself calling my sister telling her what happened. I went to pick her up and we both went on a journey to find parking.

Shes ok. Looks good. They inserted a stunt/stint? which took care of the clots and the clogged area. D's Dad was at the Heart Institute when he had a heart attack and he was telling me it was the ebst place to be for that.


Left Gramma to sleep and drove everyone home. Walked The Big Dog and finally went to bed at 2am.

Saturday.


Slept in. Thankfully. Made breakfast. Looked at myself in the mirror while questioning my life due to recent events to someone elses life. It feels a bit surreal. Someone I know and am related to is in the hospital... again.


I dont do well with sickness and things like this. My Aunt was diagnosed with Cancer and I felt awkward about it. Nothing to do with them. Its me.


My thoughts are not right. My thoughts go to mind over matter. Or is that called avoidance, ignorance, escapism? Just convince your body its not riddled with cancer cells. Youll be fine. Tell your heart to clean itself out. Breathe in the good clean air, acclimatize yourself to allergens so you wont react. Is ignorance really bliss? Sometimes.

If anything ever happens to me that I cant control. What will I do then? I dont want to think about it.

D brought up having a will. How morbid. Though I should have one. I think Ill make it a group activity. Bring everyone together and give them packages so we can get it all done at the same time so we know that weve done it and nothing is left to ... after... should it...

Was on the phone on and off with D. He was at work and invited me to visit him as he was bored. I thought that was sweet. I didnt as I was heading to another visit and then off to my own work.

Was really tired after work. Drained. I havent felt that way in a long time. Body felt tight and it felt like I havent been horizontal in weeks. I decided to just lay down for a few minutes and my body sighed in relief when I did.

I took a nap and was up and ready to go meet with D. I know. we were going out again. More food and drink. Must do more situps. We bumped into one of his friends and I wasnt introduced. I didnt know how to react so I was just there. Wondering if I was going to be introduced. It was funny as as Im getting out of the car that night I was thinking of what would happen if we bumped into one of his friends and what would happen. Well now I know.

It bothered me for all of 5 minutes and then I didnt think about it again. Until now. But it doesnt bother me. Its just one of those things I can shake my head at.

Drinks were really good. Mango Cremesicle Martinis. At the price they were asking it was worth it. Though On occasion not always as that would put a dent in my savings

Sunday.

Stayed home, relaxed in the morning. Went with my sister to visit my Gramma. Left for an early dinner and then ended up late for work. Thats ok. I still got everything done and managed to leave early.

Talked to D throughout the night and fell asleep after my bath.

263 - Thank you

Its been more than a week since D and I have had sex. I hope hes enjoying it. Its not being done on purpose. Things have just come up and no, its not because hes given it up until he loses weight. Its just not been possible to meet as kinks are still being worked out of his schedule.

I mind and I don't mind. It gives me time to build the want, which I must say is a lot of fun. But on the other hand it kind of drives me crazy wanting to be naked with him. I have to think of toning down the want. Well maybe not toning it down but just not vocalizing it to him.

Yes I am guilty of sharing. With D. The things that I am looking forward to. With him. Yes.

Ive asked him if it was a bit much and he said no. Though I think maybe its just to make me feel better.

So now I'm asking you. How would you feel about hearing/knowing that someone is looking forward to being with you. Whether it be for something sexual or non sexual. Is that something that is good to share or should it be something that's kept private to oneself?


I was told by D that we would be able to meet at least twice this week for some much needed coitus and it has yet to materialize. Granted Monday was a holiday I saw no reason not to include that. There's always room for some holiday celebration :)

Oh but oh but OH!! Tomorrow.. well tomorrow is a great day. I took the morning off and possibly part of the afternoon as well. I told work Id be in after lunch but wasn't sure what time I will be finished. So, D doesn't start until 3 ish which means that Ill get to have lunch with him and then have him afterwards.

Its a little fitting really as Ive been a very good girl. Nothing naughty happening here lately. The feather boas and leather whips have been put aside and Ive been donning the innocent schoolgirl look and its paid off. Its like Ive been a good girl and am being rewarded for good behaviour.

I had a bit too much for lunch and now I am feeling really sleepy. I guess I shuld have had seconds. I was planning on going to this event for a local radio station tonight. Hot 89.9. Singles at Sea. 300 singles on a boat cruise. Just what the love doctor ordered.

I'm not sure if ill be up for the SAS cruise tonight so I think Ill skip it. That's OK, right now sleep is high in priority. So is rest then to take care of tomorrow.

Wish me luck, send good vibes and all that jazz. Ill be asking you to do this every so often. Reasons will be revealed in time. Its all for the betterment of Life. ( Dont want to jinx it, or get ahead of myself )

... Thank you, I appreciate it :)

Have a great day!

258 - waiting

OK So I find D attractive. Hes not Brad Pitt. Interestingly enough I will never end up with

A. Brad Pitt Or

B. a Brad Pitt look alike.

Which is fine by me as some things are meant to remain a fantasy. Other than Brad Pitt, there is also the pirate, the judge and the... Oh come on... You know who your fantasy ladies are.

OK so back to the reason for this post. My sex life hasn't always been this active. Sometimes its been crazier HA! But really I have a healthy sex life. Nothing to write home about. It has its good times and very good times. You know the usual :) But really I wouldnt write home about, as that would just leave me in a perpetual blush.


So Ive been told that D wants to work out and lose 10 lbs. I personally am turned on by him mentally and physically. So I was careful in what I said. I supported him of course and said its great that he wants to be healthier. Though I know he doesn't want to get harpooned when he goes to Venezuela, Cuba or the Dominican Republic. His words not mine. Which really made me laugh and think.. if he thinks he would get harpooned... whatever would they do with me if they saw me? (gulp)

Hes been wanting to do that for the past month or so and just hasn't gotten the drive or motivation. He has it just not consistently.

So his idea to get things done. Is to abstain from sexual intercourse and any acts of self induced pleasure. I don't mind him not masturbating. Its the no sex part that I have issues with as I'm affected.

My first words after hearing that? OK well then lets get to it! How do I help? Need a trainer? How about you and I work out an hour everyday and see how that works. (wink wink) Ive got something that will get your heart rate up and sure to you will lose calories. That made him laugh. It made me want to hole up with him for a week in a hotel to remind him what hes giving up... you know... motivation to remind him what hes going to give up.

Tell me. Is sacrificing sex to lose weight motivation for anyone? After talking about it for a while I thought about it and kind of want to give up sex until I lose x amount as well. Notice how I didn't give up satisfying myself? I'm not sure I could but maybe I could try it out and see how long I last.

We shall see. Hmmm well. Erm, humunummm

I told him that was serious and that he should think long and hard about hindering and messing with my sex life. His not a problem. But mine... tsk tsk. He knows that I wouldn't be happy with the no sex rule so he said hes just thinking about it. But in the event that he does decide to go for it. I would be the first to know.

How considerate huh? :) We both laughed.

So I mentioned that maybe it might work. I'm actually considering it. Imagine? A sex deprived better looking me? Watch out.

Ill have to wait and see what he decides.