296 - Give me more

BC wants to see me again before he leaves. That's nice. Ill have to try to rearrange my schedule as its pretty busy the next few days. I know hes leaving this Sunday morning so I'm thinking the only time Ill have will be for Saturday early afternoon.

Before the Christmas Party that J1 puts on every year. The memo came out saying.

To: All Employees

From: The Head Poncho (name withheld for obvious reasons)

This year the Christmas Party will be held at 'La Di Da' (Not an actual place) which is located at 'Do Si Do' -sic- (Also not an actual address) It is near this road and that road. Which reminds me to map quest it so I know where Ill be going.

It will be held Saturday December 1 2007 at 7:00pm.

As usual it is necessary to obtain as soon as possible, the number of people which will attend in order to cater appropriately.

Please submit your intentions including your spouse or friend to your respective department managers.

Dress code will be smart business casual, no tie, no jeans, or tshirts.

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My intentions is not to make out with my date who is my sister no matter how many people ask me to and no matter how much people offer us. That will just not do.

My intentions are to be a more accountable person and to be more disciplined in various areas of life.

Are these the kinds of intentions they are looking for?

Or would be along the lines of I intend not to sneak out of work early or make fun of other people.

What happens if peoples intentions are not honorable?

So they want me to dress like I normally do for work. Dropping my sexy. I think not. I can guarantee that I wont wear a tie, wont don a pair of jeans or be sporting a tshirt. That just gives me a mental picture of me in a matching pair of bra and panties. Oh who am I kidding. I don't think Ill want to match at all.

I think Ill dress smart and sexy. Business has no place that evening. Unless duty calls...

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V has already left to catch his flight. He will be back in a week or two. I feel a little bad about not keeping in touch with him more while he was here. Ive been busy and I think he might have certain ideas of what might transpire the next time we are together. He has many ideas, I know, but he is first a gentleman and lets me set the pace.

He might not like the pace but I'm experimenting with paces. I get frustrated as well but its a learning process and I have a lot to learn. I am the grasshopper.

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B3 called me. I was a little busy and told him wed get together sometime next week. Possibly Thursday. He offered me his cell number which was the first time hes ever done that as I don't have any numbers to call him back when he leaves me messages. I didn't have a pen so I told him to give me a call another time and Id get it then.

I wonder if there's an expiry date on things like that. Like if its a one time offer only. We shall see. I'm not sure what we will do. Getting naked isn't an option yet so that will have to wait. Well, he will have to wait.

In a way I think I like not having his number. I know that for some people its a power thing. It is. I just don't let it affect me. I mean if he calls me then I'm in control because I don't have to agree to do anything with him and it shows that he wants to spend time with me. I can always say that I'm busy and he will have to call me back and he does.

Maybe he realizes what it is I have. The advantage. So now he wants to give me his number which I know I wont dial. Why, you ask? Just because. If he didn't want to give it to me when we first met which happens to have been over 6 months ago. I just don't know what changed in his life that is making him want to offer it up to me now.

Ill keep his number and I shouldn't say I wont dial his number. I might. Its not a plan at the moment but things happen for a reason and I don't know what the reason for this is. So I shall just life as it happens... happen. I'm not jumping up and down for joy, not like winning the lottery. Which I'm still waiting to win :)

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D and I had some fantastic sex for lunch. It was rushed, hurried and oh so intense. Its always a lot of fun when were both in the zone and were both there and were both just enjoying it all. The sights, the scents, the sounds, the everything. It was so good I had to change the sheets. The dynamics are changing between us. I'm not sure how things will proceed but its OK. I know that either way. Ill be OK.

I know that we both care about each other. We don't want anyone to get hurt. Though usually when you talk about that someone usually does :) No? Well maybe not always. Lets hope not.

Its the sex. Ill admit it keeps me wanting more. Have you ever heard of such an absurd reason. The sex is really good. I mean. Its spine tingling. The more I get, the more I want. That doesn't sound very smart but its the truth. I don't know if its healthy but the sex is great and having sex is healthy.

Then there's proximity. The more time we spend together the more time I want to spend with him. Take away that time spent together and the I miss it.

So my thing is now. Don't take things for granted and just make the best of the time that I am given.

Have a fantastic weekend and for those people venturing out for work related holiday festivities in the next few weeks. Remember.... Always Classy, Never Trashy.

295 - hope

This morning I woke up a little bit frustrated. I remember going to bed frustrated. I went out with BC last night. Nice guy. 35 yrs old, single and a Doctor. Cute and very attentive. Curious and inquisitive.

Its interesting to meet someone just as curious as I am. We started with some wine which loosened tongues. Which eventually turned to some slight kissing. I was a little undecided about what to do as far as how far I wanted to take it. The kissing part I could handle.

Kissing is something that I enjoy and I always feel like I'm out of practice. Its always different when kissing a new person as I'm not sure how they kiss. What kind of style they have and if it all fits with the way I like to kiss and be kissed. Of course there are many different ways to do it and there's always making the kiss unique to both people.

I'm a little curious to find out what people are thinking as they kiss. What do I think as I'm lip locked? Well last night my thoughts goes as follows and in no particular order... actually the first was the first thought. After that there's no order. I think.

How do you get yourself in these situations Darling.
Hmmmmm
Soft lips.
Warm lips.
Wet tongue.
Soft tongue.
I hope he doesn't slobber on me.
I wonder how long I have to kiss someone to get lock jaw?
Hmmm this is nice.
There's no rush
Enjoy
I wonder how long were going to kiss before his hands roam
Kissing is nice
I feel like I'm out of practice
Tongues are playful
There goes the hand roaming.
Nice hands
Warm hands
respectful hands.
I wonder if he would enjoy it if i sucked on his tongue a bit
Oh he does.
He really does.
Soft lips
No slobber.
I wonder if he thinks ill be sucking on other body parts.

On and on the thoughts went as the kissing went on and on. My blouse somehow becomes unbuttoned, due I'm sure to his roaming hands. My breasts seem to getting much attention lately. As lips, tongue and finger play with my breasts. Thoughts that go through my mind goes as follow and again no particular order other than the first which happens to be again. The first.

How do you get yourself into these situations Darling.
Soft lips.
Soft tongue.
Wet tongue.
I'm not naked.
Why didn't I wear a bra?
Wearing what I was wearing didn't require a bra.
Silly
Plus I like the lace.
Sexy
Its nice looking down and watching someone.
Pleasure me.

We move things to the bed and its oh so comfortable. I just want to lay back, close my eyes and fall into the softness until I'm refreshed and ready to get up for the next day. It might be a bit insulting if I mention that I would rather sleep than have sex. As much as I wanted to him to take me I wanted the bed to take me instead. Both would have been satisfying in different ways.

He mentions that he would be happy with kissing as he thinks I'm a great kisser. I tease him and ask him what made him think that there would be anything more. He stammers for a moment and says that he could only hope...

Choose Darlings Adventure

I went out to meet V as hes in town for the week. After communicating with him while hes 30000 feet in the air on his way into town. The following are different scenarios which may have actually happened.

The tone of his text messages and a couple of emails leading to his arrive was dripping with sexual need. There was a definite distinction that there would be more happening...

Choose Darlings adventure.

Option A.


Feign a headache and feelings of being unwell and cancel out on dinner and time spent with V to stay home, relax, catch up on sleep and nurse myself back to health using self mas-er-medication.

Option B.


Meet with V for dinner and drinks and all throughout our time together tease him with inviting looks, lip licking, lingering touches, the occasional glimpse of cleavage the skin just above my stay ups.


The evening full of sexual innuendos and silent promises of ... more than lingering touches, looks and teases. Instead of eyes roaming my body there promise of hands that will do the roaming.


Option C.

Meet with V and spend the first little while lounging and talking. As the night wore on we find ourselves in different states of undress. V completely nude and myself walking around topless. Many attempts were made to have me nude. Much laughter and rolling around on the bed. Tossing pillows aside and much attention focused on nipples.

This one just made sense. I don't forward things that I get in my email however I thought Id share this one here.

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My parents told me about Mr. Common Sense early in my life and told me I would do well to call on him when making decisions. It seems he was always around in my early years but less and less as time passed by. Today I read his obituary. Please join me in a moment of silence in remembrance, for Common Sense had served us all so well for so many generations.

Obituary

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Aspirin, sun lotion or a Band aid to a student, but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live when religions became businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know my Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm a Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

Author unknown

294 - all over the map

Theres all sorts of things happening in my head, heart and soul. Sort of all over the map. Nothing too extreme, just questions, concerns and basic ponderings. Some are illuminating, refreshing and joyous. Others a little on the anxious side. Though at the end of the musings it is still me.


As of late Ive been more introspective than usual. Ive been looking for some changes and I think they have to start with me, which is fine as the changes will benefit me so its not a bad thing at all. I have wondered though where I let go of the reigns as far as my health goes.


So my little confession is that Ive cancelled my membership at the gym. I haven't gone in a while and just refused to stop deluding myself that because I'm paying for the membership I'm OK. I'm not OK when I'm not going to the gym. So that's the change. Its an easy slide down to not being disciplined.


Ive been on and off with working out at home as well. I know it wont get any easier with winter being here. The cold just makes me want to take it easy and hibernate. I wont let that keep me from doing what I need to do.


Ive been working out with Denise this past week either after walking The Big Dog or a little before bed. As long as its done sometime throughout the day I'm happy. I heard somewhere that if something is done 21 days in a row it becomes a habit. I don't know how true that is but its worth working out for that long. LOL


I don't know if I will be cutting down on my social outings, dinners and drink dates. I think Ill just have to be more conscious of what I will be eating. I should try harder.

So this weekend should be good. Relax indoors and maybe go out to do some more shopping. Ive done a lot of it so far for myself. Some things lazy, racy and oh so sexy. Ive also picked up a few things for other people. Holiday shopping can really give your Visa a workout. Phew!

Ill be seeing V Next Monday night for dinner. Hes choosing the location this time so it will be a bit of a drive for me so I wont be drinking too much. Maybe one or two but nothing to excess. Ive been holding him at arms length. Maybe Ill relax my a little bit and see how it goes...

S1 sent me an email letting know of plans to rent a hotel room for a couple of nights and has asked me if I was interested in sharing his bed for those nights. I haven't replied back as I know hes planning on having not only him and I present but have another person there as well.

Ive gotten a call from M and hes always very appreciative of my time that I spend with him on the phone. Always amusing. Maybe one day...

I haven't heard from K in a while which is fine. I think we last left it that I would get in touch with him. The problem is I'm not sure where I left his email address. I don't usually or as of late I am not the type to go after them. I prefer to leave it to them to get in touch with me. I don't want to waste anyone's time so if they are serious then they know how to get in touch with me.

G called me while I was at work and we talked for a few minutes. I haven't seen him in a little over a month and he called to say he missed me and had extra thoughts of me lately which made him call me. He wanted to see how I was doing and catch up on whats been happening. We didn't talk long. He apologized for calling while I was at work and I told him it was good to hear from him. Its true. I was thinking of calling him to see how he was doing. Funny how things work out.

Today is supposed to be a big shopping day with it being Black Friday and all in the US. There's a small part of me that would love to be in comfy shoes shopping away with my sister looking for great deals on things that we really need and or getting great gifts for people. The other part of me is glad that my Visa has time to cool off from last nights marathon.

Maybe next year Ill plan a road trip so we can be nutty and get up for the doors opening and save $ hand over fist. We shall see.

I hope those who celebrated Thanksgiving enjoyed themselves :)

293 - laughing out loud

Have I mentioned that since May Ive had chat and send for my cell phone for free? Its been nice spending all that time on my cell phone at all hours of the day and not pay for it. Its been a great few months with this 'gift'.

Now that I am accustomed to spending all that time on my phone talking, texting and sending the occasional photo... OK more than occasional photo. I come to realize that I will so get dinged once this gift is no longer.

I'm posting about it now because tomorrow is my last day with this gift. I will have to monitor how much I'm on when Its not part of the evenings and weekend plan. Though I do have free incoming calls so that should help.

This brings to mind that I could have taken more photos of The Little One, videos as well from my cell phone. I have photos... now I'm thinking videos would have been nice. The only ones I have are the ones that play in my mind. That's what really matters anyway.

I'm a bit bummed that soon Ill have to restrict myself from using my cell during the day. I'm sure ill be fine. Its just a sad day. This is the great depression of the moment in my life. Losing free services for my cell phone.

I know I'm ridiculous. There's no other way to describe me but ridiculous (at the moment) Not always. Just for the moment please and thank you.

It shouldn't be too hard as I haven't been cutting down on my usage during the day. Not by choice as D is a major part of that and hes also watching his cell usage. At the moment hes in the lead for the person who I spend the most minutes with.

I went on a panel interview once before and I thought I did well. I still could have done well. I just didn't get that job. I think it was because my hours would have been minimal there and I could only start after the start time they were looking at. That's OK.

It was something part time. I had the opportunity to watch the receptionist work while I was waiting for someone to bring me inside and when she answered the phone and spoke I almost burst out laughing. I hadn't heard such a hoity toity tone in such a long time and it was just out of the blue. So every time she answered it would sound exactly the same.

That happened a few months ago and every so often I find myself imitating her tone and words exactly which makes me laugh out loud.

292 - passports

I have the application done for my passport. I'm thinking that I probably should take my passport pictures over as I'm not 100% satisfied with the current one I do have. I figure I should try to at least make it a good one if its to be my official form of ID when I travel.

Though I was thinking about it from a different angle. Hows this for a thought process?
I have this photo that I don't think is a very good one.
I stick with this photo and have it on my passport.
Its not a good photo. At all.
Ill always look better than the photo.
So I feel like I'm having a vain moment
The person looking at the passport photo will think must have been a bad for photos.
Look at her shes nothing like her photo.

LOL I think Ill stick to the one I do have to remind me that there's always room for improvement. Plus I think its good to remind yourself once in a while that you wont be the icing on the cake and sometimes not even the cheery on top of the icing on the cake.

Ill have to go sometime next week to the Passport office to get it done. Mid to late week first thing in the morning I think. Ill have to get a map to find out where it is and hope that the weather wont be freezing by then.

D has to get his as well and we might be able to go together early in the morning. Then go for breakfast afterwards. We shall see. Most probably we'll be going on different days but there's always hope :)

This weekend will be used to rest and catch up on sleep. Maybe watch a few DVDs and really just do nothing. D has a lot of things on the go at the moment so it wont be often that we have our midnight rendezvous. We may be able to go to lunch but that's all up in the air at the moment. Other than that were still in a good place.

They hired someone new in our department. A guy. Not my type but they don't take my preferences into consideration. Shame really. But I cant have it all cant I?

Practicing patience is something Ill be doing for the next couple of months as that's roughly when Ill hear from them to let me know when Ill be starting the training program. That's OK Ill just forget about it for a while and that will help. Though every so often I get a feeling of OMG I have no idea what kind of things Ill have to do. Something along those lines.

Have a great weekend!

291 - aliens

I had a friendly visit for lunch today. One of my coworkers from a different department came in and took me out for lunch. I wasn't really feeling social as I'm still tired from last night. I'm not usually this tired after working. I guess all that flirting really took something out of me. HA! I could have used a nap for lunch a double order but it was still nice to go out for lunch.

Its been a busy few days so I think its already catching up to me and my body is telling me that I need to relax. I was happy that I don't have plans tonight however that feeling was short lived as I got a call from one of my girlfriends who I haven't seen in a while. You guessed it, I couldn't say no. I did mention that it would be low key and that it wont be a long night. Time to catch up and do the girly thing :) Should be fun. Jammies, slippers, margaritas and more.

I expect to be home and in bed by 10pm. Though realistically it will be more like 11pm. The earlier the better. I may just give up and cut the night short but I really don't want to do that.
Ive got to run some errands as well. Ive been meaning to pick up an air filter for my car as when I cleaned my car, I checked and its not clean.

The brake pads and rotors have been installed and I feel much safer driving my car. I mean I was safe before as I'm a safe driver, but not even more so. Now to do the rest of the maintenance on my car which will be done over the next little while. Time permitting of course.

Ive been lucky that the weather hasn't been really cold and unfriendly. Its been nice and we have been spoiled with what we currently have. Asking for Summer weather would be asking too much. Its cool and comfortable for now. Ill take what I can get.

As for V, he sends me a text message last night while I am at work letting me know that I am welcome to visit him after I am done work, no matter what time I finish. I text back on my way to my car letting him know that I have no energy and wouldn't be very good company. Hes a sweety, replying with options of running a bath, a massage and uninterrupted sleep. I think he just likes to watch me sleep and have me near him.

I declined and rightly so. The drive to see him would have put me to sleep and a sleepy driver I prefer not to be. Hes on his way out of town again and I think he'll be back in a couple of weeks. We'll see if he gets in touch at that time.

I haven't heard from F which is surprising but not really. I mean there's always a chance someone wont want to be part of The Soup. Oh well. I think He will have to go to the Wood Chipper. Though for some reason I think he may have gone to on holidays... Maybe.

Profuse Sweater. AKA as S. Or really Unknown as I'm not even sure if that's his name. Hes the one that might have a gland or few that needs to be looked at. Nothing wrong with that. It just wasn't attractive. Nor was a few of a lot of the other things he brought to the table. Anyway, he had sent an email a couple of weeks ago wishing me well and and all that.

It sounded like a this is my last attempt to get in touch with you and you don't seem to be interested email. I wish you all the best... So I thought FINALLY! I was wrong. He left a voicemail.

Aliens, they do exist. Klingons.

290 - JCC

I worked the JCC event last night. It was a lot of fun. I worked hard and I made a lot of money and now I'm very tired. I got home close to 3am this morning. I took The Big Dog out for a walk and that might have been the slowest walk Ive ever had with her. She must have thought I was sleep-walking.

I'm sure I was a couple of times as I remember thinking Ill just lift my feet up and as long as you pull I you'll get your walk. Very tired. In my bedroom I crawled into bed and sighed with relief. Knowing I only had a few hours of sleep I didn't care. It felt so good to be alone, horizontal and naked on clean crisp sheets.

I woke up to my cell phones alarm ringing and I stayed in bed a few extra minutes. Convincing myself that it wasn't a Saturday morning and I could not continue to sleep. Work really does get in the way of a lot of things but without it, it would really hinder a lot as well.

Foggy is how I see the world today. Theres a fog that I cant break through and I think that only sleep and rest will cure it.

Last nights parade of men had me all over the place and had some of them return to try and win a date with Yours Truly. Mid-flirt with an attractive athletic type, I was interrupted by another gentleman that I used to work with and Oh how the loins have fantastic memory. Now you all know that I don't have any kinds of 'relations' with people that I work with.

I was instantly aware that we no longer work together and I would still be Oh So Interested in partaking in some one on one time with Mr Former Coworker. Curious glances after we got caught up on the wheres, whats and who's of life were exchanged and the out of character and insane thought that I could just walk up to him and ask him if he felt the same way and lead him to a hotel and find out if reality fits the fantasy.

How the Gods teased me last night. That's OK I teased the men as good as I was getting. Other than the many different focuses of my attentions for the evening. I had a gentleman take interest in how I liked my job there. Alluding to possible gains should I be interested in meeting with him some time for dinner...

289 - thinking ahead

I found myself a little tired from all the running around and searching Ive been doing lately. Feeling lost without my planner which somehow went missing put me in a mood to just want to sleep and wake up to a planner lying on my pillow.


I was tired. I went out for dinner with heartbroken coworker. Hes just a friend BTW. Though hes alluded to being more than a friend. He just wants to be more. Though it wont happen. I know he teases me about it, but to every tease there's some truth to it. Most times :)


We tried out this new restaurant that he hadn't been to. It was my second time there so I was still holding out my opinion on the place. I enjoyed the food and the company. We caught up on things and it was a good evening.


I went home and did the usual arriving home routine. I took The Big Dog out for a walk and made sure to bundle up warmly. It made me think that The Big Dog should have a sweater to put on as it is getting colder outside. She has her rain gear. I call it her cape. I don't think she likes it very much as she tried to pull it off with her teeth. Quite amusing for me to watch her go around in circles. Though I'm sure not so amusing for her until that is we get outside and she realizes that there is some sort of protective cape around her that doesn't get her so wet.


Back home and after feeding her I put on a DVD, The Fifth Element. I paused it to talk with D who is calling from a payphone. His cell phone wasn't charged and he was left to use payphones to get in touch with me during his breaks. This tells me a couple of things. That he knows my cell phone number by heart. I cringe to admit that I don't know what his cell number is off by heart. Its saved on my cell phone and all I see and know is to answer or scroll down to D to call or answer.


The second thing it tells me with his phone not being available for use. He doesn't have to call me and didn't have to. So the fact that he did. Makes me think that he was thinking of me and might even missed me. Enough to call me while he could be doing other things.


Its a reminder to both of us that were so connected and dependant to and on our cell phones. Sometimes when I head down to the parking garage in the morning and realize that Ive left my cell phone back in my apartment I will gladly be late to work than go a day without my cell phone. A little scary.


So I was thinking about this new Laptop Ill be getting. I'm wondering and debating on getting that or should I just get something portable like a Blackberry. I'm planning on bringing the laptop around once I get it. So to be more efficient and practical would I be better of getting a Blackberry or bringing the laptop around.


There's the drop factor. Id of course prefer not to drop either. But I think the BB would be the better candidate to drop. I don't know much about how they are built and if LT can withstand being dropped and as often. I know my cell phone, my previous cell phone that is didn't take it kindly when it was dropped.


I guess it depends on what I would use it for. I'm wondering if depending on what I want to use them for. Which would be better. I probably should have thought of this earlier.

288 - doses

Ive just gotten back from my nap filled lunch and one of my coworkers informed me that they will soon be blocking the Internet from our computers.

Just another reason that I love this company which makes me want to stay. (GAG)

I'm not happy about this and my good mood restored by my nap has been ripped away by the news of Internet blockage being imminent.

We shall see if it is implemented and how long people comply.

Reason for it? Some people take advantage and well... games, certain sites that offend either race, religion or sex. On your own time please people. On your own time.

Blogging? That's OK (with me) LOL
Emails? That's OK with me too
Sex related sites? Well. If I am the one doing it then that's OK. Everyone else? No. AHEM! JK :)

The weather is increasingly getting colder. I think Ill have some Soup.

V will be in town next week and we've made arrangements to meet and have dinner on Monday. Ill have to cancel a tentative night to help at the bar which is OK. Ill be bar tending Tues night for big event. Its a huge night to work as its a lot of fun. Lots of athletes. Lots of men. Ill be working way past the midnight mark.

I will also be taking my friend out to celebrate acquisition of a part time job. We will share in her perks of a bottle of wine a week to try, taste and learn. Much fun to be had I'm sure. This poses a little bit of a snag in our regular get togethers. So Ill have to look at my planner carefully to see if there is a day that I can be free in the evenings consistently.

Oh did I mention? I don't believe I have. I was out last night starting to prepare for the holidays. Picking up a couple of things that I think people would enjoy. I saw a help wanted sign and am seriously thinking of going through with it. I spoke to the lady there and asked her how she enjoyed working there and what if any problems or concerns there were for working there. She seemed keen on having me on the team and actually started to show me how to work the register. Showing me paperwork that I would have to fill out, printing out x and z reports and so on.

The only thing I'm not too keen on is bumping into a certain someone who lives in that area. I have to weigh it out and see. I mean I could always try it and if it happens to be unbearable then I can always apologize and let them know someone else might be better suited. I told my sister about it and she wants to work there too. So she may also work there. We shall see.

This weekend Ive been invited to a dinner party that a client is throwing. I'm looking forward to it and getting all dolled up. I don't think Ill know many people if any so it will be interesting. Shes a great client and I know she throws dinner parties every so often which is nice and I'm always on the guest list. Ill have to bring her some chocolates or some sort of basket.

Other than the dinner party. Ill be working at J3 on the other night I'm not at the dinner party. After working at J3 I think plans will either be meeting D at my place or meeting D somewhere and spending some time together.

I'm in a great mood today. I'm over the Internet blockage issue. I'm in a great mood :) It will be a long night. Ill be bar tending and well the boys will get an extra dose of Darling as I'm in a great mood.

287 - twinkle twinkle

I need a fix of D and it might not happen for a few more days. Last night was strange. I went out with my sister and we had a lot to catch up on so we did. I talked to D for a few minutes as I was driving to pick up my sister. I didn't talk long with him and I could already feel the I miss him feeling.

Oh well. These things happen. My sister and I had a great time. We didn't stay out late which was OK. It felt strange not to have talked to D as we have on most evenings, between cell phone battery dying, being busy at work or being in the company of someone else. Kind of in withdrawals about it now. He mentioned that too :) So phew! Its not just me.

Wasn't sure what was happening and if he was busy or not so I sent him a text and was hoping that he would call as that meant he wasn't that busy. He didn't call but he took forever to reply. That was OK. I was just tired. So I mentioned I might be going to bed soon and I think he was a bit taken aback by that as we usually do talk often at night.

I missed him and I felt a little bit girly and needy so I didn't want to be in that mood while I had him on the phone. I didn't call him, he called me and ended up talking to him for a little bit before falling asleep. I think he felt something was up but he didn't mention it which was great as I would have spilled the beans.

I'm not any deeper than before. But I think Ill be having another conversation about what this all is. Just to get things out in the clear as there have been some changes in both our lives. It will be good to get things out in the open and continue on from there.

Onto an even more exciting topic. Ill be a new owner of a brand spanking new laptop soon. I don't know when but 'soon' in this context is the next 2 months. With the new laptop Ill just use my old one for...something or another. We shall see. The new laptop will be a sleek new Mac Book. White if you please. You can imagine me in a white tank top with a pair of white boy cut panties sitting atop my bed playing... with my new toy. The Laptop silly. That's going to be the new toy. It will satisfy other things that the -in a hush hush type voice- 'the other toys wont be able to :)

At the same time that the Laptop arrives or soon thereafter. I should plan on getting Internet connection. Then I hope I will be able to post more. The challenge will be not to spend too much time on it. Its a quick spiral down the time suck zone as some might be familiar with.

D knows this and hes mentioned the kind of things I might get into when I have access to the Internet at home. Its interesting to see his insecurity about it. I don't know if anything will happen but if it does I wont be hiding it from him. But its nice to know that should something happen, it would bother him a little bit.

A little bit of both never hurt anyone. Keeps you on your toes.

Call me twinkle toes :)

286 - of pants and minds

Just wanted to clarify on the male coworker I mentioned in my last post. He is not the father. Which is why hes hit with a whammy. Hes not sure what to do now. Hes asked me what I thought so I shared it with him. I'm not sure if that's what he wanted to hear but that's what I thought. In situations like that there's always a chance that they want to hear something sugar coated and want me to be on their side.

I told him how it might be for her. What it will mean for her and what it will mean for him. I basically just threw a lot of scenarios at him and I shared as a third party the things that I have seen. Nothing too daunting of course. Just facts.

I don't know what it did for him but he got very drunk and I drove him home and made sure he got in the house and on his couch. I wasn't tucking him in bed. No sirree!

So hes been coming to my dept more and more to see if I want to go for lunch. I seem to have a Dear Darling sign at work as more people are coming to me for advice. I don't generally give great advice (I think) that would change peoples lives. I just tell it like it is. As how I see it. I don't necessarily come with the typical females point of view. Its very twisted. Trust me. It is. Ive been told that it really isn't. But they haven't seen the whole picture. Wait :)

Nothing to run away from just interesting as one of those Hmm I didn't think a woman would be able to see it that way. Even D mentioned it a few times after certain conversations. 'No one would give advice like that', 'not many people would have been open like that'.

I shrugged and thought about it for a bit. I wasn't sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing. I decided it couldn't be bad as I was still around and things are looking pretty good in my life. I have no complaints, safe for the lack of a winning lottery ticket. Though I'm told I have a higher chance of winning if I buy a ticket. Now those were wise words.!

I tell my sister how it is. I don't lie to her or sugarcoat anything. Ive told her things I told myself not to share with anyone as it just might be off the wall. It was off the wall. I still shared it with her. We had a great time talking about it and it helped her share some of her off the wall stories that were similar to mine. Though she says I'm still ahead on strange happenings in life. Always have a good laugh over it all.

Shes still young. Plenty of time for strangeness in her life. If there's a situation that Ive been in and Ive learned something from it ill share it with her and anyone. In hopes that they listen and should they come to a situation similar. They can recall something and make some decisions. Sharing life's lessons I guess. My life has moments where its pretty interesting and I don't mind sharing what Ive learned.

Which makes me think of some of the people that I have met and how sometimes I'm attracted to them because of the life they've lead/are leading. Its almost as if I want to know what they know. I always wonder if people think that way sometimes. If they have knowledge they want to share but don't have anyone to share it with.

Id volunteer to be the recipient of such shared ramblings. I think people are very interesting as were so different. The way we think, do and process information. Whats understood and how its related. All so very good and interesting.

All I'm saying is that getting into someones pants isn't always on the agenda. Sometimes its getting into peoples minds. Not for anything bad. Just for that. For the sake of learning and understanding.

285 - a little nervous

I'm a little nervous today. I'm not 100% sure why. Just one of those uneasy feelings in my tummy.

It could be and these are reasons that might be why.

I know D is having a 'discussion' with someone about something that's very important to him and I know that I had a hand in it. Not purposely but inadvertently.

I have my doctors appointment today. I hope everything checks out OK.

Ive told work about the appointment with my Doctor but I didn't mention all the other things I have to do afterwards. Ill mention that the time frame is unknown for how long Ill be gone so that might make me feel better.

Those are the major things I'm thinking could be contributing to my unease for the day.

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Random thoughts that are going through my mind this morning.

Reminder that Ill be bartending tonight, Friday night and possibly one day this weekend.
Ill have to write up a list of things to do so I get them done and don't fall behind.

The Big Dog is looking a bit sad as Ive been busy lately and I know I miss her and shes probably thinking the same. Things will die down soon I think.

Halloween is one night where ladies get to play out fantasy roles by dressing up a little bit riskier. Its interesting to me what people choose to go as as I think it might be an indication of what kind of underlying silent wants they have in mind. Just a thought.

Bumping into people after get a great haircut and looking fabulous is such an adrenaline rush.

A friend of mine recently got a part time job working in a Wine Store where she gets to try a bottle of wine a week. This is going to be the start of a fantastic self taught wine course. Which I would like to follow up with an actual bona fide class.

The Wine and Food show at The Congress Center is not only a great place to learn about wine and interesting food. Its also a great place to meet people. Also known as A Meat Market.

Nov 3rd and 4th. Ive yet to decide which day I will attend and with whom. My sister is a likely choice though, we shall see how our schedules work.

Advice
Dress to impress ladies.
Steer clear of the Screech.
Also steer clear of the opposite sex... not all of them.. just those that are...
- slurring
- wavering... while standing.
- vomiting
- loud and obnoxious... impaired by alcohol or not, they should be avoided.

Ive been a little off with replies to any emails. I'm starting back up with them and there's a good sized chuck of guilt hanging on my shoulder. I believe that if someone takes the time to send me an email they deserve a reply. It meant that someone thought of me for a moment or few and I should return the same courtesy.

I think its because I feel a little bit boring and don't feel like I have anything exciting to share or talk about. Such is life. A big ball of perception.

One of the girls I work with is turning out to be someone that is really cool/fun. Maybe once I leave this company we'll be able to hang out every so often.

One of my male coworkers has just been hit with a meteor of a whammy. The girl hes been in love with for the past say 4 years just told him that she is pregnant. Hes come to me for advise. I told him I'm not qualified. I might confuse him even more. He still wanted to hear it so I gave it to him and now I find myself with a lost puppy. Looking to focus his attentions on someone else.

I hope the direction of his focus is not Yours Truly. On a few occasions there have been remarks to that effect to which I have ignored and failed to respond to. Hes in a fragile state and I don't know how delicate I need to be. Sometimes I'm not so delicate in my words even though I mean them to be.

Who knew!?!?!

I hope that getting my passport will bring forth a vacation of some sort. You know what they say. Thinking of it is the first step to making it happen. Ive thought. Ive done. Ive yet to get the tickets. :)

Oh and I guess Ill have to pay rent sometime soon. The good news and bad news? I could have been collecting air miles since Ive moved in and havent as Ive been using a different bank card to pay for rent. Silly me. Ill be taking advantage now that I know :)

Hope everyone had a Safe and Happy Halloween!