262 - underneath the surface

Another long weekend coming up. I feel like booking off work at the last minute or well.. really giving them as much notice as possible so that I can just go somewhere. Even if its an hour away somewhere. LOL Pitch a tent and sleep. Hopefully without any wildlife wanting to be tamed by yours truly. What? Stranger things have happened.

I'm not working at all on Monday. At any of my jobs so that's good. I don't quite know what to do with myself. I think ill go get my car checked out however I know they are closed for the long weekend as well so that's out of the question.

Maybe I should take a drive down with my sister to go cross border shopping. Oh wait I will need some serious spending money and I'm on a save money stint at the moment. That idea just wont do specially if I have to take my car which is in need of some work to go.

This is life telling me that I need to do something. I might spend the weekend doing some self evaluation and some cleansing/cleaning and organizing of my mind , body and soul.

I need to reconnect to... something that I'm not entirely sure of but something needs to be done. I feel a little disconnected. To what I'm not so sure. I cant explain it. It feels a little scary not knowing exactly how I feel. What is happening and what will happen. Something in the pit of my stomach is prepared for something not so nice.

I wrote a post about feeling something really intense and just wanting to have sex. Which would be the one thing that would fix, satisfy and ease whatever it was that was bothering me at that time. Its not quite that intense now but there's something just underneath the surface of calm that lies waiting.

The friend who is currently in The Penalty box called me and apologized for not calling the day before. I said it was OK and she mentioned going to a place called Heaven. Shes been a bit down as she recently took a pay cut. A big pay cut and now is struggling to make ends meet.

I feel a bit bad for my reaction but not really. I would hope that she knows that she can talk to me about things. Oh well. I know she knows that and when shes ready she knows where she can find me.

Oh and T called me! I havent heard from him in so long and I was so very excited to hear his voice. Hes got that melt my panties voice thats very very arousing. WE talked for about 30 minutes and we caught up on what was happening though I talked more so I hope he calls again soon so I can hear what hes been up to.


So lets hope that this weekend finds me well. Have a super duper fun filled weekend! :)

It will be a new month when I post again. I see changes in my future. Send out good thoughts for my plans for the future! :)

261 - obits

I called A and left a voicemail. He wasn't feeling well and I wanted to make sure he was on the mend and getting better not worse. I hadn't heard from him in a couple of days so that worried me. I decided to call him last night and lo and behold. He answers.

I teased him by telling him I was about to check the obituaries to see if he showed up there. He laughed and said he was about to call me. I teased him again telling him he was now obligated to say that. I'm such a girl.

He tells me he wanted to call me before he left. I asked him where he was going and he said he was on his way to Mexico. 'Without me?' I said and he laughed. 'Next time' he said. Hes going to check on investments.

I didn't ask what kind of investments and felt relieved when he mentioned looking at his property there. Phew. Nothing of the illegal kind please. Ive got enough problems. It was just a thought that came in and left just as quickly.

So I was kind of 'I want to go to Mexico' for a moment or two while on the phone with him. Not this time though, I know that I cant just up and go. Maybe one day. All in timing right?

I didn't ask how long he was gone for. He didn't offer that information. I'm OK with it. Its good to have a break from what I'm not sure. But things are good so Ill leave it as that. The question of when he was going did come up and he said he was in the parking lot. I laughed and asked if it was the parking lot to pick me up and he said after a pause. 'The parking lot of the airport'

It made me think that the trip is happening ASAP and that its pretty neat that he can make plans like that and leave right away. I know that there's a large divide between where I am financially and where he is. Kind of ridiculous really. What is interesting is that we know each other.

I thought I was bad with my social calendar. Hes even worse and he doesn't even have a calendar or anything much to do. Which is something I find annoying. Very, extremely even. So trying to plan something plan anything like going for lunch or dinner or drinks is like pulling teeth. Hes a spur of the moment person and depending on what needs to be done kind of person. Ill let you know person.

Arg. I like spontaneity as much as the next person but I also want to be able to say 'great idea! Lets go!' Instead of 'I cant Ive got something I cant get out of' Which really doesn't help in the spontaneity are but Its still nice to have an idea of when he would be able to go out and do something. Morning, noon or nights. I have no clue. Actually the only suggestion he made was for me to take the day off.

Which I thought of doing and tried to find a way to still be getting paid for the day at work. I couldnt find a way not to lose my income for the day and I told him maybe a Sat or Sun. But I wouldnt be able to take a day off. I reminded him not everyone had the kind of income he did. To which he offerred to take care of my income for the day so I didnt feel the loss.

Hmmm interesting...

260 - good news bad news

People have asked me what I do when I leave for lunch. Nosy I know. I smile and try not to blush too much to give it away. Most of the time I say errands or lunch with a friend. Though one day I'm sure they will question my answer as my clothes sometimes have water marks from not drying myself off after a quick shower when I return. Or was it a quickie in the shower. HA!

Nooners. :) Love them. Middle of the day sex. Satisfaction. What I enjoy for lunch? My options?Food, naps and sex and not generally in that order. Now if only I had a time enough to cover all of those :) Wouldn't that be a daily treat. Wouldn't it indeed.

Good news Bad news.

Bad news first?

OK. Bad news is the amount of sex that Ive had in the past say 2-3 months have been lacking, not in the quality dept but yes I will say it. Quantity dept. I know its better to have quality over quantity. But I'm not normal. I want both. I want a good quantity of good quality sex.

I want the cake, icing, chocolate dipped strawberries on top, topped off with some whipped cream and I want to eat it. Oh do I want to eat it :) AHEM!


The Soup hasn't been all that accommodating in that area as schedules are not working well. Things come up and plans change. Its all still been very fun but the fact is that I am somewhat unfulfilled.

I spoke to D about it. Told him I was a bit down as my sex life has been lacking and yes I wanted him to know that sex with him was lacking in the quantity dept. Which he quickly reminded me that the amount would increase come September.

How did he know that was on my list of things to get for my birthday?

The good news?

As of next week his schedule is changing again and its going back to how it was before. Which is good for a couple of reasons. We'll have more sex. YAY :) We'll see each other more often and our phone bills wont be so high. Ill tell you about that later. Though I must say it really is good to be a girl sometimes :) OK for me... most times.

So looking forward to more sex, saving money and seeing more of someone that keeps me wanting. As for what I want... well...

259 - selfish?

Things that irritate me. Looking forward to going out and spending some time with a friend when they call and cancel saying they are tired.

I'm not planning on bringing them out to run a marathon. Its food, drink and good times I'm after. Nothing strenuous. Nothing taxing. So when someone tells me they are tired and want to do nothing at all. I get irritated.

Not that I know every detail of their lives and what happens in them. I know that if I can juggle J1, J2 and J3. Have time to work out with Denise and Carmen, run with The Big Dog a couple of times a day, keep The Soup current and up do date. Call, talk, email and text away to various friends and family.

Surely the couple of hours that I have set aside for just this occasion to meet with them and hang out isn't so much to ask of their busy lives. I'm not trying to act like I'm high and mighty. I apologize if that's how it sounds. It sounds like I'm selfish.

I feel like I'm being selfish when I pull a suck like this. I guess its also that I value my time and if something planned doesn't go through. My day doesn't get shot to hell its just inconvenient and I find myself disappointed. I haven't seen this person in a while which is why I look forward to seeing them.

In a way I have to be thankful. I don't just sit and wallow that I'm not hanging out with whoever. I end up doing other things that needed to be done. The everyday things like groceries, banking, cooking, cleaning, catching up on sleep and so on.

Its just... if it happens too often with the same person whats a person to do. I'm thinking I should just not plan anything with this person and let them come to me. If I'm available then great if not then maybe another time.

I look forward to spending time with my friends. It doesn't have to be something glamorous planned. Sometimes its relaxing at home with a bottle of wine or sometimes the venue changes and we'll be on a patio enjoying the weather and have fruity cocktails. I don't even mind if its walking our dogs together.

I think for this one friend. Ill leave the plans up to her and if it somehow works out that I'm free when shes not tired we'll go do something.

On that note. Sex time! :)

258 - waiting

OK So I find D attractive. Hes not Brad Pitt. Interestingly enough I will never end up with

A. Brad Pitt Or

B. a Brad Pitt look alike.

Which is fine by me as some things are meant to remain a fantasy. Other than Brad Pitt, there is also the pirate, the judge and the... Oh come on... You know who your fantasy ladies are.

OK so back to the reason for this post. My sex life hasn't always been this active. Sometimes its been crazier HA! But really I have a healthy sex life. Nothing to write home about. It has its good times and very good times. You know the usual :) But really I wouldnt write home about, as that would just leave me in a perpetual blush.


So Ive been told that D wants to work out and lose 10 lbs. I personally am turned on by him mentally and physically. So I was careful in what I said. I supported him of course and said its great that he wants to be healthier. Though I know he doesn't want to get harpooned when he goes to Venezuela, Cuba or the Dominican Republic. His words not mine. Which really made me laugh and think.. if he thinks he would get harpooned... whatever would they do with me if they saw me? (gulp)

Hes been wanting to do that for the past month or so and just hasn't gotten the drive or motivation. He has it just not consistently.

So his idea to get things done. Is to abstain from sexual intercourse and any acts of self induced pleasure. I don't mind him not masturbating. Its the no sex part that I have issues with as I'm affected.

My first words after hearing that? OK well then lets get to it! How do I help? Need a trainer? How about you and I work out an hour everyday and see how that works. (wink wink) Ive got something that will get your heart rate up and sure to you will lose calories. That made him laugh. It made me want to hole up with him for a week in a hotel to remind him what hes giving up... you know... motivation to remind him what hes going to give up.

Tell me. Is sacrificing sex to lose weight motivation for anyone? After talking about it for a while I thought about it and kind of want to give up sex until I lose x amount as well. Notice how I didn't give up satisfying myself? I'm not sure I could but maybe I could try it out and see how long I last.

We shall see. Hmmm well. Erm, humunummm

I told him that was serious and that he should think long and hard about hindering and messing with my sex life. His not a problem. But mine... tsk tsk. He knows that I wouldn't be happy with the no sex rule so he said hes just thinking about it. But in the event that he does decide to go for it. I would be the first to know.

How considerate huh? :) We both laughed.

So I mentioned that maybe it might work. I'm actually considering it. Imagine? A sex deprived better looking me? Watch out.

Ill have to wait and see what he decides.

257 - kept

I had dinner with G and it was at a restaurant Ive been meaning to visit but just haven't been able to for some reason.

Lovely atmosphere, made me feel like I was in a different place, a different country almost. Very cozy. Food was great and company was even better as I haven't seen him in a couple of months. Hes been away on vacation.

He's taken 3 months off and returns to work sometime this coming September. Ive been thinking of what it would be like to have 3 months off and what I would do. I decided that I couldn't possibly plan something like that if I didn't know how much money I had to play with in that time, to take care of my responsibilities and splurge? Maybe.

Its always good to have friends you don't see for a long period of time. It makes getting together more alive. A little more animated as there's so much to share and talk about and find out in regards to whats happened since the last time we got together.

Lots of conversation ranging from the silly to the intense. Lots of laughter and interruptions. But with friends the interruptions means there's an ease and comfort and the knowledge that its not out of rudeness. Its out of something that just cant wait. Its non stop, topics go back and forth from one to another and back again.

There's an ease with G and I that I feel. Almost like an intimate embrace without the complications that sex brings. At the end of the evening and on our second bottle of wine at my place. I just wanted to cuddle. We did.

We lay in bed together for what seemed a long time and it was nice. He whispers in my ear how he desperately wants to make love to me. I look at him in the eye and smile. Hes a sweetheart. We did it all during dinner. I hope he understood what I meant. I wanted him to know that if we didn't it would still be a fantastic evening.

As much as sex brings people close. Sometimes its everything else that brings you closer. Our time together was intimate and we shared so much that it was something orgasmic.

Interesting facts about the evening. G looks much better with a tan, healthy and happy. Hes thinking of going to a tanning salon once his current one starts to fade. I said if that's what he wanted to do and if it would make him happy go for it. I cautioned him on the perils of going as per all the hype but I also told him that it does wonders for some people.

The benefits of it is, looking better makes you feel better which then transfers to all other parts of life. How other people see you.. healthier and happier. You will have gotten a boost. Peoples perception of you changes. Small but true.

Once in a while its an experience to let someone order for you. Of course as long as you know them and then have an idea of the things that you like. It doesn't happen often but when it does there's a feeling like a kept woman.

Imagine that? Me, kept. HA

256 - goings on

T is very insistent and has started to call me his girl. As endearing as it is. Theres something that irks me about being "his girl". In all senses of the word I am a girl. Just not his. Nor will I ever be his girl.

I'm a bit annoyed with him. Hes become a cling-on. Needy. Needs constant affirmations... and I know that we all need affirmations. We all need to be validated in some way. The way he goes about it repeatedly is grating on my nerves.

When point blank asked. 'I want you to be my girl. You want to be my girl right?' I had to keep my eyes from rolling. I did what might be called rude. I told him that I wasn't sure I could be because of the situation, the distance, specially the lack of activities boys and girls engage in behind closed doors that he knows I am very fond of.

I hear silence on the other end of the line and ask if he is OK. He will be he says and he understands. There is a small part of me that feels guilty that its come to this point. Where he likes me more than I like him. Is that the trick? to find someone that equally shares the amount of like. Otherwise its too much or not enough.

B called me to touch base and to stay in contact. I was out shopping with my sister so we didn't talk long. I told him it was good to hear from him and that we should get together sometime when our schedules allow.

S might have gotten the impression that I'm not available anytime soon to meet with him as the amount of phone calls have diminished. Its a turn off when someone cant follow simple requests.Like call me after 5pm as that's when I am finished work. Its also a little bit off putting when they tell you they want to 'bring you to a special place' without letting you know where the place is. A bit freakish and screams of being tied and bound in a spread eagle position on a table in some barn somewhere. (shudder)

K is in England. I sent him a text to say 'hi' and he said he would get in touch when he returns.

M1 has been put through the wood chipper. Ha vent heard from him in a while so there may be a miraculous waking at some point. Sometimes people need to hear honesty to realize what they wont be getting. I told him that if he was looking for anything sexual with me it wouldn't happen. So I didn't hear from him again. Of course he did the obligatory 'no no, that's not what I'm looking for' line.

I didn't get any sort of want to be intimate with him. Not even a peck on the cheek. It pays to stick to your guns ladies and just say it like it is sometimes. . Just say No!

A is new. Had an impromptu lunch date and he watched me eat. He failed to mention he had a late and large breakfast. I didn't mind. I needed to eat. We needed to meet. We talked, we laughed and when the time came for me to pay for the meal that I ate. He insisted on taking care of it.

We were supposed to meet another afternoon for lunch. He had to cancel. Sadly.

I told him jokingly that I wanted to know who or what was o important to break the lunch date with/for. Hes helping his friend who doesn't look as good as I do. Charmer. I know. Ill be careful with this one. I told him that since he wasn't going to see me that day that he wouldn't be privy to a hint of what I was wearing. Which I know will have made him think. Ill let his imagination wonder.

B2 hasn't called me in a while. Its hard to call back when you don't have their numbers. Oh well. Such is life. I did bump into him at Costco. I pointed him out to my sister and we had a discussion about how tastes in men are really varied from woman to woman.

J2 is new and is proving to be a flirt. The kind of flirt that I approve of. Neither of us is rushing anything which is nice. I'm feeling a bit impatient but would like to be in the mood for it all to happen so I guess its OK that we are waiting. Waiting for what exactly? Nothing in particular though he has mentioned a possible weekend away together. That wont happen soon but again.. its the idea and the possibilities that gets me.

V is also new. Hes from out of town and is often in Ottawa for business. Suits me just fine. We went out last week sometime and had a great time. It didn't stop him from being a man and suggesting that I return with him to his hotel room. I know he wasn't trying to be rude. Hes just being male and it is refreshing to meet someone who says whats on his mind.

Hes in town every other week so it should be interesting how things play with him.

Well... Ill save the rest for another post

For You

I'm happy to hear about the changes in your life. I'm glad you've met someone. I'm glad that things are looking up.

What I'm really glad for is that your life is now different in small ways that make a difference. Like how and what you see hear, smell and taste. I wanted that for you. Even if it wasn't me who brought it out. I'm glad that someone was able to do it for you, with you.

Life isn't easy or simple and that's what makes it interesting. How we decide to live. Sometimes it isn't what you will run from but what you will run to. If the want is strong enough then you will find a way to get there.

Ive never met you and in a way I am jealous that it wasn't me that brought about all of these great changes. But I am happy that it happened. That the things that I wanted to help with, bring about, create and so on is happening for you.

I hope that the light of life shines on you and yours and that you continue to experience everything with a glorious wonder. From the leaves on a lily plant to the way a bird flies with its wings spread wide open.

Enjoy the lighter steps, the fresher air, the weight off of your shoulders.

Much love and happiness.

255 - whats your pleasure?

So D's on the phone with me last night and he asks me if I have heard of this place called the Le Nordik - Nature Spa http://www.lenordik.com/ for those of you who are curious to see what its about :)

I tell him that I have heard of it and want to visit it some day as it looks really relaxing. Ever so nonchalantly he mentions that 'maybe when you start your new job (hes oh so supportive about me getting this position) we'll be able to go together. I hear they have some great packages, we can have some wine, massages and relax in the pools together.'

Oh it might never happen but a girl like me? I'm happy with the idea and him mentioning the idea. I'm such a girl its unbelievable.

My plans with J fell through again. How many chances does a guy need? History? It was the third or was it the fourth time that we had planned to meet and something came up. Its also a bit strange that the only nights he can meet are Tuesday or Thursday nights. Fishy I say.

So I tell D that meeting with J isn't going to happen and that I feel a bit bored and restless as I was expecting to go out for a bit. He suggests me renting a movie. I tell him Ive already seen what I have and he repeats the renting part of his suggestion. Cheeky!

I tell him its a great idea and I ask him if he could stop by and pick up a movie and bring it over so we could watch it together. He laughs and tells me I'm non stop. I smile and laugh with him. You cant blame a girl for trying right?

So no movie. No date. Instead. I made a Mango Martini, ran a hot bubble bath, a book by Laurell K Hamilton 'The Harlequin' and parked my naked self into the bathtub for some self indulgences.

Who says I need to be out and about all the time? I can very well enjoy myself over and over all by myself :)

Today. I have strong memories and flashbacks of the self indulgences which makes for me looking forward to lunch with D all the more... intense.

On one hand, we may have sex at my place which would surely make both our days. On the other hand we may decide not to go to my place and instead go have lunch somewhere. Where it will drive me bananas because I'm thinking of what could be happening at my place. Its all good. Ive been able to enjoy the tease that it has become.

Not getting serious about anything with D. Its an adventure. One of those choose your own pleasure kind :)

Whats your pleasure?

The Return :)

It gets worse. They moved me to a place where theres more traffic so my non work related Internet usage has been cut down. By much as Im sure you have noticed.

So ill try my best to work something out. I'm sad and very annoyed at this intrusion on my personal time at work. The nerve. I mean... can you imagine?

Then I'm sure you are also wondering what else is there that I might be hiding. Much :) So much that no one at work needs to know about. Dont worry its really not that bad... or is it?

Yes Ive been warned and I make sure to cover my tracks and it makes me... stealthy and it adds to the excitement and scandal that I may partaking in. I know I will be careful. Its a cycle, sometimes its fun and other times not as much.

Quick updates though and I think that this should satisfy the tag from Tuxbaby. I know its not very interesting. I find that sometimes I'm not. Again my apologies.

- I'm running with The Big Dog once or twice a day.

- I'm working out with Denise Austin and Carmen Electra :)

- My social calendar is going to be put on a voluntary hiatus.. as soon as it slows down a bit.

- Theres this man who has proposed to me. Albeit jokingly. Though all jokes have some truth to them isn't that right?

- Another man started the sentence... If you were my wife...

- My Grandmothers Bday just passed and I forgot how old she was turning so I said 73. I am now her favorite grandchild... for the moment.

- I'm wondering if going for coffee and spending an hour with a man is considered a date? is it?

- I find myself getting shy lately about things. Blogging, dating, sex and so on.

More to come on how things have been going. A little busy but I'm trying to get most of it down for memories and of course course for your curious pleasure :)

I have been getting some rest, not as much as I should and its no ones fault but my own. I find that I just like to go out and be around people. Last night was strange. I actually cancelled on meeting with someone though Ill tell you the rest of that story another time.

I cancelled and felt odd. Kind of restless and even Denise and Carmen didn't do much to alleviate the restlessness. So I did what I knew would. Relaxed myself the tried and true way. I took BOB out into the light and put him to good use.

I'm well rested today and got in early to be able to write this. The Return Of Darling :)

my apologies

Feeling blah. Sleepy. Tired.
Lots of things happening. Nothing bad. All good... I think
No desire to write about it all yet.
But I will.

Just sleepy... need to catch up on sleep.
My week is full already and has been since last Wed.
Dates, casinos, girls nights, meet and greets and other scandalous events.

I miss blogging and reading them as well.

Letter from my dad

To my Son, my Darling and my Sunshine,

We have been in two different poles of the universe. North and South. While we plan to be together in some future dates. Soon I would think. I just wanted to reach out to you and say that I miss you and love you much.

We all have grown accustomed to the status quo. I am also at fault and I am the first one to admit it. I should have jumped to every opportunity that came in front of me. I would not want you to repeat the same mistakes I did during my younger years (???).

There is a big wide world of opportunity out there for everyone. We need to get out there and find out what belongs to us as dictated by our Maker, our Lord.

Just like the story of the frog that was born at the bottom of well. He lived there with his family and was quite content. He (the frog) thought, Life does not get any better than what he has now. One day he looked up, saw light on top of the well. He became curious and wondered what was up there. So one day he decided to climb up and find out for himself. Reached the top, peered over the edge. First he saw a pond. Thousand times bigger than the well. Hopped further away and discovered a huge lake. Hopped some more miles away and reached the ocean. Now he realized how limited his thinking had been.

Many times were like him (the frog). Enclosed in our own well. A comfortable environment. All we have ever known, a certain level of living, a certain way of thinking. We settle for too little. What we all need to do is venture a bit further were we have never gone before. Dare to to dream bigger. Look out over the edge like the frog.

Our Maker has Big OCEANS. He wants us to enjoy life. But we all need to do our part, that is get outside our own little box or out of our small well. Let us not allow complacency keep us in mediocrity. We feel comfortable where we are and we use that as an excuse. I believe our Maker wants all of us to go further, be successful. Break out and get out of the mold. Focus and commit to our own to change for the better.

I know and I feel that our Maker had more in store for each of you and me. Let us keep up the faith in Him and trust Him all the time. Go out there and be blessed.

Today, don't just settle for what you have. Begin looking beyond where you are to where you want to be.

I love you all so much and I miss you all ! Stay healthy, Keep Safe always.

Say your prayers and give thanks to our maker each day. No matter how many times in a day - say thank you Lord for the favor.

Papa

254 - willing to admit

D - You are quiet today

Darling - :) wasn't sure if you were sleeping and didn't want to wake you if you were. That and I'm feeling great and I might have ended up telling you I think of you entirely way too much.

D - Wow

Darling - I know I know TMI.. I care so I share. Not meant to freak you out or anything. It is what is it The truth and don't feel put on the spot unless its a good one for you.

D - Not sure how to respond to that hmm

Darling - lol you don't have to in any way. Sometimes I share things that I should keep to myself. Maybe this was one of them.

D - Not on the spot but just not aware

Darling - Now you are and its OK. Nothings changed..at least on my end... really should censor myself more... If you're not cool with it.

D - No at least I know and that is a good thing

Darling - you knowing? or what I sent?

D - Me knowing

Darling - K the good thing is you'll always end up getting the scoop on where I'm coming from and while I'm shooting myself in the foot.. I do like you... enough to flat out say it. I also like things the way they are. Anyway don't think about it too much. Its all good. lol That's it for now. Ill stop

Being on the receiving end of someones affections is always harder than being the one to show affection.

Its easier to do the liking and telling because then its out in the open and out of my hands. The truth is out there and really. The truth shall set you free. Theres a big sigh of relief and the calm settles. Now whether its the calm before the storm or the calm after the world has righted itself is another story.

I just know that I can sleep really well during my nap time this afternoon. I wont be all giggly because I like someone. I wont be all anxious trying to figure out what will happen later. Whatever happens happens. I wont be questioning myself and my actions.

As long as I remain true. As long as you remain true to who you are then it cant be wrong.

I could have kept it to myself but I figured why not?

If he turns tail and runs then it shows a few things.l If he sticks it out then cool. It shows other things. Its a risk that I'm willing to take. I mean it still could happen that what I just did really isn't cool with him and that things will become D-less after a while.

Which I know is OK as my life will continue on and someone else may be the focus of all my goodness. But for now. Ill enjoy what Ive got.

In all honesty. I'm kind of a hypocrite. Someone within the past month told me he was ind of crazy about me a little bit. But because I wasn't interested I told him he was crazy and haven't talked to that person in a long time. Hes a coworker. Not my type, but nice guy. For someone else. Not me. We move, talk and live on a whole different set of speed and I only have so much patience per person at one time.

So If I get that same fate then Its just karma coming around to give me my due. But That's not to say the other things that are coming around full circle aren't also coming around at the time.

Had a conversation with D after my mid afternoon nap and basically... he wants to make sure that I don't get too attached. He doesn't want anyone to get hurt. Well he doesn't want me to get hurt because he sees me getting more and more attached. I said that was nice and I also made sure he knew that he would be the first to know if he should be worried.

I thought ...

First. That there really wont be anywhere that this goes.

Second. I'm glad I have a good healthy appetite for Soup.

Third. I'm not getting all girly about being told indirectly that its not going to go there for him.

Fourth. I'm OK with it.

Fifth. I should call K and let him know tonight would be a good night for him to come over.

Sixth. Remind myself that I should stop writing plots and subplots that may never happen.

Seventh. I'm still happy about sharing. Ill never stop. Its who I am. Open and honest.

Eighth... I think I'm finally willing to admit things i'll keep to myself for now.

He said he didn't want to see me get hurt. I said that I'm not that attached. I like him but I am talking to other people, meeting them and not banking on a relationship with him. The reasons to meet other people and go out have yet to be determined. But I am meeting them.

Even though its not the greatest conversation to have its one of the best in that its honest and we both know where we both stand.

The girl in me needs a hug. The woman in me is relieved that I'm still loose in a noose of my own making. The man in me wants to take some names and kick some ass.

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Happy Friday to all of you. I love long weekends. I don't have anything planned aside from work at J3. I'm sure something will come up. Oh and next weekend on Sunday to be exact I'll be serving drinks for the afternoon for a family reunion being held by my former employer.

Roughly 40+ people, there will be a performance by Elvis... yes thats right Elvis, a DJ and 2 BBQ's for meats and kebabs. Should be fun. There's also the pool to which I've been invited to use as well. We shall see.

I've also managed to bring one of my Gf's to serve with me so it should be fun. She's looking forward to some extra cash so it should be a great ol' time

I've been to the casino and forgot to mention that I won :) :) :) All 3 times that I went :)

1? (has no name yet) sounds like fun. More to come on 1? next week.

lol Im having a fantastic day I hope everyone is as well.

Oh and Tuxbaby... Im working on it. Im finding it a tad difficult... but it will be done :)

Darlings Double Ds

Darlings Dos 'n Donts which will now and forever shall be known as Darlings Double D's :)

Don't lie. It makes things easier to remember if you keep things real and honest. Who wants to remember all the lies they've told? The who, where and whens. Its too complicated and I'm sure there are better and more important things for people to think of than the lies they've told and having to keep it all straight. If its a medical condition. Is being a pathological liar a medical condition? Nevertheless. If you are. You will simplify your life much more if you just stop it.

Do walk on grass without shoes or sandals. It brings you closer to nature. Makes you appreciate life and the sensation is very relaxing. I know you might think its weird and you might look funny. Who cares. People who see you are wishing they could walk barefoot. Roll up your pants too make it so obvious that next time... you'll see them walking on the grass bare feet :)

Don't laugh at other people unless you're willing to laugh at yourself. Its so much more fun to laugh at yourself. If you cant do that then things are way too serious and its the best way to lighten up. Come on you know you cracked a smile that time you were walking down the sidewalk and stumbled over the crack. Didn't fall, but it was still amusing. That you stumbled on something flat. So many times in a day I find myself laughing at something silly that Ive done.

Do walk around naked in the privacy of your own home. Alone. As much fun as it is with someone else. Theres something to be said about doing it alone. Its liberating, sensual and of course it feels so naughty.